Over recent decades, there has been a substantial increase in the proportion of women in the workforce with dependent children. However, this trend is not evident for mothers of children with disabilities. Their employment levels are greatly reduced. The present paper examines the nature of the restrictions which affect the employment participation of these mothers and explores the meaning work has for them. The data presented in this paper were derived from qualitative interviews with 18 mothers of children with disabilities aged between 5 and 15 years. These mothers found employment difficult. They encountered unusual time demands, and a lack of adequate and affordable child care. Furthermore, they felt that their employment opportunities were restricted by attitudes prevalent in society concerning appropriate roles for women, especially mothers of children with disabilities. The lack of opportunities to engage in employment led, in varying degrees, to feelings of isolation, a lack of fulfilment and low self‐esteem. The mothers felt that they were on the periphery of society with little release from the pressures of caring. Mothers who had part‐time jobs often did poorly paid work of low status, thereby encountering few opportunities to use their skills and abilities to the full. Those who attempted a full‐time job experienced stress from the dual demands of home and work, and from a fear that they were failing as mothers. The present paper highlights areas which require attention to improve the employment experience of these mothers.

Background  This paper describes a study of one aspect of the lives of mothers of children with intellectual disabilities. It focuses on their perspectives of their dealings with the professional and service worlds. Much attention has been given in recent years to developing and co‐ordinating a multiprofessional and multiagency network of support around families. Although such aims can be seen as beneficial for families, there is also good reason to expect these to present problematic experiences for family carers. Methods  Data are presented and analysed in this paper on mothers' perceptions of their dealings with professionals. The sample consisted of 30 mothers of young people with intellectual disabilities. The data were obtained by qualitative interviews. Results and discussion  Overall, the study confirmed that mothers' dealings with professionals were highly problematic for them. They felt that such encounters could be based upon conflict and that their worth and character as mothers were being continually scrutinized. However, the data show that mothers were willing to challenge professional perspectives of their children and their needs. They embraced advocacy for their sons and daughters as part‐and‐parcel of being a mother. However, in doing so, they were much more hesitant and reluctant to raise any needs and aspirations for their own lives. They fear that in giving these voice, they could be seen and typified as selfish mothers. That is, their struggles to be taken as advocates for their sons and daughters would be undermined. The implications of these findings for research and service development are discussed.

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