Resilience is one of the most profound constructs across disciplines. Yet, the largely atheoretical nature of the research on resilience continues to make it elusive. A new theory of stress and resilience in close relationships-the theory of resilience and relational load (TRRL)-is advanced to fill this void in the literature. The theory bridges communicative, perceptual, and physiological aspects of stress within the context of social relationships to explain personal/relational risk, resilience, and thriving. The TRRL examines how relational partners' and family members' communal orientation and maintenance of their relationships on a daily basis influence their communication during stressful moments, as well as their appraisals of the stress. The theory also details how these communication patterns and appraisals influence personal and relational health and adaptation. Finally, the concept of relational load is set forth, which is the wear and tear that chronic stress and depletion of one's emotional, psychological, and relational resources through repeated, stress-related conversations can have on relationships. Ultimately, people need to continually invest in their relationships to prevent relational load and foster resilience and possible thriving.

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This study examined whether the type of support individuals receive when they are verbally ruminating affects their cognitive rumination (brooding), anxiety, and relationship satisfaction; 233 young adults were randomly assigned to be the subject, 233 others the confederate. The confederate was trained to provide “good support” or “poor support” to the subject who talked about a topic he/she had been verbally ruminating about recently. When individuals verbally ruminated and received poor support, they became more anxious and dissatisfied with the friendship. When individuals received good support, they were more satisfied with their friendship, but their anxiety was not significantly reduced. In addition, verbal rumination was directly associated with more brooding after the conversation, regardless of the type of support provided.

Women frequently turn to other women for support to cope with stressors. The support they receive, however, is often not what they need or even expect from a friend. Based upon differences in racial backgrounds, this study tests whether the racial composition of female friendship dyads influences the experience of support gaps, or discrepancies among the types and amount of support women need, expect, and receive, as well as the outcomes associated with those gaps. Black and White women (N ¼ 312) recalled a supportive conversation with either a Black or White female friend about an identity-threatening stressor. The results show that women needed, expected, and received more of several types of support from friends of their same race and that several support gaps were more pronounced from friends of a different race. The racial composition of a dyad moderated the influence of support gaps on women's perceptions of supportiveness, reappraisal, and affect improvement.

The theory of resilience and relational load was tested with 60 couples and their adolescent children (ages 11-18) with type I diabetes (T1D). The couples participated in a stress-inducing conversation task in their home, followed by a random assignment to a two-week intervention designed to increase their relationship maintenance. Before the intervention, stronger communal orientation predicted greater maintenance for husbands and wives, but maintenance only reduced T1D stress for wives. The wives' and adolescents' T1D stress were also correlated, but the husbands' T1D stress was not significantly associated with either of them. Better maintenance was associated with less conflict during couples' conversations. Maintenance was also directly associated with less perceived and physiological stress (cortisol) from the conversation. Finally, wives in the intervention reported the most thriving, communal orientation and the least loneliness. The intervention also reduced adolescents' general life stress, but it did not influence their T1D stress or thriving.

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The impact of spouses' communication about economic uncertainty on biological stress responses was examined. The sample included 82 Latino and Caucasian couples and one of their adolescents. Wives with low economic uncertainty experienced the greatest cortisol increase to a stressful discussion with their spouse, while wives with high economic uncertainty experienced a blunted cortisol response. Husbands with high economic uncertainty exhibited a low, unresponsive cortisol pattern. Wives who experienced elevated cortisol used more corumination and had low community support. The amount parents talked about their financial worries to their adolescent was not associated with the adolescent's mental health or biosocial markers, but the parents' economic uncertainty and corumination with each other were negatively associated with their own mental health.