Family estrangement is the physical distancing and loss of affection between family members, often due to intense conflict or ongoing disagreement. While the concept is rarely referred to in the research literature, it is not an uncommon issue raised in clinical practice. This article provides a brief overview of the literature pertaining to later-life intergenerational family estrangement, primarily between adult children and their parents. It then examines later-life family estrangement in relation to Boss's ( 2006) concept of ambiguous loss and Doka's (1989) ideas about disenfranchised grief. Finally, the article comments on the practice implications when working with elders experiencing family estrangement toward the end of life.
IMPLICATIONS FOR PRACTICE •Practitioners should be mindful of, and responsive to, the possibility of family estrangement when working with older people.• Practitioners should consider viewing estrangement contextually, normalizing the estrangement experience, validating associated feelings, and taking a nonjudgemental stance.All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. (Tolstoy, 1957, p. 1) kylie Agllias, BSW (hons), lecturer in social work, university of Newcastle.
This qualitative study examined the experiences of 25 parents who were estranged from their adult children in later life. Most participants experienced estrangement as an unanticipated, unchosen, and chronic loss for which they felt ill prepared. Most described a traumatic loss, ambiguous because of its uncertainty and inconclusiveness, and disenfranchised by societal ideologies embedded in constructs of parenting and motherhood as essential, natural, and universal. Many participants said they were subjected to the social stigma associated with tainted or devalued parenthood. In many cases, the gendered stigma accompanying estrangement positioned the female participants precariously for social rejection.
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