This article contains a description of the context, development and delivery of No kids in the middle, a group approach for divorced fighting parents and their children. After addressing the social and legal context of high conflict divorces, we describe the main characteristics of this destructive dynamic. We describe some aspects of the approach and give examples. Key principles for the project include: keeping the child in mind; working in groups; stopping legal processes; making free space for interactions; creative presentation ceremonies; and reaching out to the network. The outcomes are promising. Research on the project has started.

The relation between divorce, co-parenting conflicts, and children’s adjustment problems has been well established. An unresolved question for research and clinical interventions, however, is how conflicts between parents are maintained and/or escalate. This cross-sectional research tested the hypothesis that co-parenting conflicts in divorced couples are associated with perceived social network disapproval and that this relation is mediated by parents’ tendency to forgive each other. In Study 1, a convenience sample of 136 divorced parents recruited via online forums, we showed that perceived social network disapproval was indeed positively related to co-parenting conflicts and that parents’ tendency to forgive the other parent—albeit partly—explained this relationship. Strength of our research is that in Study 2, 110 parents referred to children’s mental health care because the wellbeing of the children was severely compromised by the severity of the conflicts between parents, we replicated these results. In both studies perceived social network disapproval and co-parenting conflicts were positively related and this link was mediated by forgiveness: perceived social network disapproval was negatively related to forgiveness, which in turn was negatively related to more parental conflicts.

Work with ‘multi‐stressed’ families is often overwhelming for therapists. This is partly due to the frustrating experiences these families have had which contributes to an attitude of distrust towards the outside world. The authors describe methods used in the Netherlands to engage these families in treatment. These methods include home visits, collaborative practice and respect for the resources that the families already have.

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