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The most popular form of reversible contraception in the United States is the female-controlled hormonal birth control pill. Consequently, scholars and lay people have typically assumed that women take primary responsibility for contraceptive decision making in relationships. Although many studies have shown that men exert strong influence in couple’s contraceptive decisions in developing countries, very few studies have considered the gendered dynamic of contraceptive decision making in developed societies. This study uses in-depth interviews with 30 American opposite-sex couples to show that contraceptive responsibility in long-term relationships in the United States often conforms to a gendered division of labor, with women primarily in charge. A substantial minority of men in this study were highly committed contraceptors. However, the social framing of contraception as being primarily in women’s “sphere,” and the technological constraints on their participation, made even these men reluctant to discuss contraception with their women partners.

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Previous research on BDSM (bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, sadism & masochism) subcultures has largely ignored the spiritual aspects of BDSM for participants. Drawing primarily from my years of experience and participant observation as an insider in the DC/Baltimore BDSM pansexual community and 70 interviews conducted with self‐identified kinksters throughout the Mid‐Atlantic United States, as well as a convenience sample (n >1,100) survey of American and Canadian kinksters, I show that the BDSM subculture, as a noncriminal deviant subculture, provides a hospitable social environment for cultivating the “lived religious” (Wilcox ) experiences of this mostly agnostic/atheist and Pagan group. Nearly half of all American and Canadian kinksters who are heavily involved say they sometimes engage in BDSM for spiritual fulfillment. Many kinksters demonstrate discomfort with the more mystical aspects of this spirituality, and often adopt an epistemic stance I call post‐rational to reluctantly acknowledge mystical experiences within a preferred framework of scientific and rational knowledge. Nonetheless, interviewees described spiritually connective, transcendental, and cathartic experiences from their BDSM practices. Further research is recommended on the spiritual experiences of religious “nones,” the social construction of catharsis, and potential applicability of a post‐rational stance to contexts such as alternative medicine.

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