There is consistent empirical evidence to suggest that more open and positive sexual communication is a vital component of sexual relationships, but romantic partners tend to avoid sexual communication. Although clinical and theoretical writing has identified barriers to sexual communication, there is a relative paucity of empirical literature investigating specific barriers to sexual communication and whether these barriers are unique to sexual communication. We developed the Barriers to Communication Questionnaire, a measure that investigates the types of threat that are activated during couples’ sexual and nonsexual communication (Study 1) and the degree to which these threats are differentially activated across the two discussions (Study 2). In Study 1, we found that the same categories of threats were activated for both sexual and nonsexual conflict communication: threat to self, threat to partner, and threat to relationship. Study 2 revealed that threat to self is activated to a greater degree during sexual conflict communication compared to nonsexual conflict communication. The differential degree to which threat to self is activated during sexual and nonsexual communication provides a plausible explanation for why romantic partners tend to avoid sexual communication more so than nonsexual communication. The measure developed in the current study could be used clinically to identify the specific threats that are preventing an individual from communicating with the partner about needs and desires. In the research domain, the measure can be used to further investigate the causal association between emotional barriers and sexual communication.
Attachment theory is one of the major theoretical frameworks for understanding romantic relationships. Attachment styles are formed through interactions with caregivers and shape an individual's expectations of subsequent interpersonal relationships. In this study, we examined how attachment styles influence participants' ability to communicate with their partners about problems in their sexual relationship. A community sample of 81 couples engaged in two video-recorded discussions, one representing an aspect of the couple's sexual relationship where the male partner wanted change and the second representing an aspect of the sexual relationship where the female partner wanted change. Conversations were then coded, with each person being rated on three positive communication dimensions (positive affect, offering solutions, and responsiveness) and three negative communication dimensions (hostility, negative affect, and unskilled communication behaviors). As predicted, attachment avoidance was related to more negative and less positive communication for both the individual and his or her partner. Our observational data did not reveal any significant effects of attachment anxiety on sexual communication. These results can be contrasted with findings from self-report studies that do suggest an anxious attachment adversely impacts sexual communication.
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The COVID-19 pandemic has had far-reaching impacts on many aspects of life, including sexual behaviours and preferences. In this longitudinal study, the authors used attachment theory to investigate changes in an individual’s sexual desire for their partner as well as changes in their sexual desire for someone other than their primary romantic partner (extradyadic desire) over the first wave of the pandemic in Canada. Based on past research that has shown that avoidant individuals tend to avoid intimacy, the authors reasoned that increased contact with their romantic partner due to physical distancing guidelines and lockdown rules would contribute to avoidant individuals’ experiencing less sexual desire for their partner and greater extradyadic desire over time. In contrast, individuals high on attachment anxiety tend to seek proximity, especially during times of stress. The authors predicted that individuals’ sexual desire for their partner would increase and their extradyadic desire would decrease. They tested these hypotheses using a cohabiting, dyadic sample ( N = 308 individuals); study participants were contacted at 1-month intervals for three successive months and asked to complete an online survey. Our hypotheses were partially supported. As predicted, individuals high on attachment avoidance experienced higher levels of extradyadic desire, and individuals high on attachment anxiety reported lower extradyadic desire over time. Contrary to predictions, however, neither attachment pattern was associated with changes in sexual desire for the partner. The authors examine the theoretical implications of these findings, highlighting the need for a more fine-grained assessment of stress and the interaction between stress and attachment orientations in future research.
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