The presence of a trans* family member can challenge existing theoretical notions about the development of gender in families. Emerging knowledge about trans* identities consolidates around 5 primary challenges to existing theoretical notions of gender: (a) non‐dimorphic sex, (b) nonbinary gender, (c) the biological and social construction of gender, (d) gender identity development, and (e) family meaning making about transgender identity. These challenges structure an examination of hetero‐ and cisnormative expectations within family theory and help unpack long‐standing tensions between essentialist and social constructionist views of gender development. This can play out in family theory through a recognition of the tension between upholding and decentering cisnormativity within families. This article pinpoints locations where current family theories require reexamination and expansion to accurately conceptualize the flexibility and variability of families with trans* members.
Objective
To explore family boundary ambiguity in the parent–child relationships of transgender youth.
Background
Transgender youth may perceive a lack of clarity about whether parents will accept their authentic gender expression, continue to support them physically and emotionally, and regard them as a member of the family. Uncertainty about being in or out of the family and whether family relationships endure is stressful and can lead to psychological distress, a sense of ambiguous loss, and frozen grief.
Method
Ethnographic content analysis was conducted based on interviews with 90 transgender youth recruited from community centers in 10 regions across 3 countries.
Results
Narratives revealed that transgender youth experienced family boundary ambiguity related to relational ambiguity, structural ambiguity, and identity ambiguity. Each experience of ambiguity obscured whether participants remained in the family and interpersonally connected to their parents.
Conclusion
Transgender youth actively navigated complex and ambiguous parent–child relationships whereby participants attempted to reconcile their need for authentic gender expression combined with their need for family connectedness and acceptance.
Implications
Family clinicians, educators, and policymakers are urged to consider family and transgender resilience through a lens of ambiguous loss and to promote a gender‐affirmative life‐span approach to clinical care for transgender individuals and their families.
In this article, we use an ambiguous loss framework to guide a process for decentering cisnormativity (the assumption that biological sex and gender are aligned) within families, specifically for those experiencing the gender identity transitions of family members. Individual family members have varied experiences with regard to gender transition and may or may not experience ambiguous loss depending on their position within the family system. Trans* persons themselves may also experience ambiguous loss as a result of the dialectical tension of acceptance and rejection by family members. We apply resilience processes developed for work with persons facing ambiguous loss to support trans* persons and their families as they navigate gender transitions.
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