Mothers with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and their infants often have compromised relationships. To further understand the complexities, this study explored (a) the experiences of mothers with BPD in response to infant crying and (b) how these parenting responses impact on mothers’ interpersonal functioning with significant others. Six mothers with clinical BPD were recruited from a mother–baby psychiatric unit and interviewed using an interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) approach. Transcripts of the semistructured interviews were coded for themes and subthemes. Dominant themes revealed that mothers with BPD entered motherhood in a psychologically fragile state, hypersensitive to experiencing intense physiological–emotional pain and cognitive chaos in response to infant crying. Automatic maladaptive flight–fright responses including suicide attempts were common. A novel theme revealed some mothers’ split identity, and only the “mother” part could attend to infant crying. Finally, the data provided an understanding of the detrimental domino effect on close family. Mothers also highlighted gaps in accessibility of current mental health services and parenting programs, and their desire to prevent the intergenerational transmission of attachment problems and BPD symptoms to offspring. Clinical implications include antenatal BPD screening, psychoeducation about infant crying, and greater access for programs supporting the whole family to improve outcomes.
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