A fundamental dyad in public social services is woman to woman. In Israeli public social services, it is often mother to mother. This multi-faceted encounter is complex and in this theoretical article I wish to deconstruct and situate the social worker–mother encounter in a broader context, a social–cultural–national one. Taking a feminist perspective, I will explore how the personal and private social worker–mother encounter is a political and public one. Analysing western ideologies of the ‘Good Mother’ together with those of the Israeli-Jewish mother, this article aims to develop a theoretical understanding of macro mechanisms that shape the social worker–mother encounter. Being conscious about what influences that encounter might benefit social work clients, practitioners, researchers, and policymakers.

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The helping relationship between a client and a practitioner is often described as the heart and soul in social work. This research explored the helping relationship between social workers and clients (the clients were mothers) in the context of public social services in Israel. The results presented here are part of a larger ethnographic study that included interviews with 14 social workers, 20 mothers who are clients, and extensive participant observations and textual analysis. Presented in this article are the results pertaining to the essential elements of the helping relationship as perceived by the research participants. Social workers and clients pointed to similar elements that comprise a good helping relationship: love and support; trust and feeling safe; listening and feeling understood; making an effort to help; humanness, compassion, and sensitivity; availability, continuity, and being there when needed; and chemistry. Participants’ accounts exemplify the importance and centrality of the helping relationship in social work. The article concludes with a discussion of the study’s implications for practice, policy, and research.

Summary One major effect of the demise of the welfare state on public social services is increased heavy workload which leads to stress, burnout, and compromised well-being among social workers. Less explored are the ways in which heavy workload shapes the helping relationship between social workers and clients. Extrapolating from the narratives of 14 Israeli social workers who participated in an institutional ethnographic study, this paper offers a nuanced understanding of the toll that heavy workload takes on the helping relationship. Findings Results showcase heavy workload as a ruling relation, an organizational reality outside the control of social workers and clients. The damaging effects of heavy workload on the helping relationship as well as on the social workers were apparent: social workers expected to slice themselves thin and deal with frustration and guilt in the face of an organizational reality that deters them from investing in their clients the time and energy required to cultivate helping relationships. Application The helping relationship has been paramount to social work throughout the history of the profession. This research contributes to this longstanding focus with a renewed understanding of the helping relationship in public social services as a political and public encounter between social workers and clients, one that is governed by extra-local relations of ruling. Heavy workload is one such ruling relation that organizes the helping relationship. As such, this organizational reality can be reorganized to eliminate, or at least reduce, the toll that heavy workload takes on the helping relationship.