Although the large group is a mandatory part of the Institute of Group Analysis London Qualifying Course, its history and theory have been absent from the curriculum. This fringe status can be seen as a reflection of the challenge the large group offers the analyst—trainee and practitioner alike. It exposes structures of power, reveals issues around race and gender, and brings historical trauma to light. The question is, are we willing to look within? My ‘journey into the wilderness’ is a step towards an answer. As such, this article is framed as field research, focusing on the lived experience of the large group, as well as revisiting its past. It moves between two paradigms of practice—developmental large groups in training institutes and discrete large groups at conferences—and seeks to define the purpose of this ritual, as well as set new ground lines for ethical practice. Through the use of large group material, I trace the theoretical language of koinonia, fellowship, dialogue, outsight and equivalence, and exemplify learnings around the mechanisms of projective processes. I suggest that a projection must be felt before it can be returned, but in such a multi-person setting, ‘countertransference’ does not do this work of integration justice. Finally, I address containment and introduce the concept of reverie/participation. Through this model the large group grants us an experience of embeddedness, and awakens our responsibility for the challenges of history making, and social change.
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