After being neglected for decades, the real relationship existing between clients and psychotherapists has been the focus of theoretical and empirical attention in recent years. In this article, we discuss whether or not psychotherapists can work deliberately to strengthen the real relationship over the course of treatment. We conclude that the real relationship can be strengthened by the psychotherapist's empathy, consistency/ constancy, management of countertransference, and by being willing to tell the client what the psychotherapist thinks. At times when it is not helpful for the psychotherapist to tell the client what s/he thinks, we discuss the value of the psychotherapist telling the client why s/he will not tell the client. Strengthening the real relationship can be particularly difficult with clients who have a weak or depleted sense of self. A case of such a client is presented with the aim of demonstrating how the real relationship may be strengthened.
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