There was a point during the NZAP conference in Auckland earlier this year when we had a mirror held up to us by the guest presenter Jessica Benjamin. It occurred when we had all come together to consider the processes of a preceeding timeslot. Her mirror was a comment to the effect that in her estimation the NY psychotherapy community would not have come together in the way in which we were doing. What was striking and unfamiliar to her was that we were sufficiently willing to come together, despite difference and in spite of similarity, to connect in this whole conference mode, and to deal with the process this may have engendered. This, she asserted, took considerable professional courage.