‘You just deal with it. You have to when you’ve got a child’: A narrative analysis of mothers’ accounts of how they coped, both during an abusive relationship and after leaving

Abstract

A narrative analysis explored the accounts of eight mothers, each of whom had left an abusive relationship at least 12 months previously. Existing research investigating the strategies used by women to cope with domestic violence rarely considers women in their capacity as mothers. Furthermore, women's lives after leaving an abusive relationship have received limited research attention. Thus, this study aimed to understand how women described coping with domestic violence and mothering their children, both during an abusive relationship and after leaving. The analysis focused on how the eight participants described their experiences (narrative form) as well as what they talked about (narrative content). Three types of narrative form were identified: (1) 'The story told to help others', (2) 'The story too difficult to tell' and (3) 'Where's my story going?' Each woman spoke about the contextual factors that influenced whether she coped with domestic violence by seeking support from others, changing her thinking or changing her behaviour. Caring for their children was a major source of support for all the women both during their relationship and after leaving. The findings indicate that mothers who have been abused by their intimate partner may come into contact with a wide range of social and emergency support services. Implications for clinical practice, service delivery and service development relate to the different ways of supporting women in talking about abuse and also the need to recognise trauma in parents.

Violence against older women: A systematic review of qualitative literature

“…Secondly, our results confirm that exposure to IPV is often linked to experiences of violence in childhood; older women in studies included in this review indicated that growing up in families where violence was commonly witnessed and experienced was interlinked with exposure to IPV in adulthood and through to older age, a finding that is evident in data on women of reproductive-age [ 94 – 96 ]. Thirdly, there appear to be common challenges for women of reproductive age and older women in leaving an abusive relationship, including perceptions of the importance of remaining in a relationship for the sake of children, indicating the commonality of the importance of social and gender norms in driving decision-making [ 97 – 101 ]. Implications garnered from research with women of reproductive age experiencing IPV are relevant here; similarly, it should not be assumed that older women want to or can leave an abusive situation, and services provided should recognize and be sensitive to this.…”

Mothers as Victims of Intimate Partner Violence: The Decision to Leave or Stay and Resilience-Oriented Intervention

“…Awareness of continued aggression and, therefore, the prospect that violence will persist over time, even across generations, creates a weariness and intolerance for the abusive intimate relationship in victims, especially where they fear for their own physical wellbeing or that of close family members such as their children (Faro and Sani 2014;Jones and Vetere 2017). The results of this study reinforce the idea that victims choose to leave the abusive relationship based on the best interests and protection of their children (Edleson et al 2003;Sani and Carvalho 2018;Sani and Lopes 2018;Zink et al 2003).…”

“…Given that no single theory has been able to predict which reasons weigh most heavily on the decision to leave an abusive relationship, some empirical studies, mainly quantitative, have tried to isolate variables that have some explanatory power (Domenech del Rio and Valle 2019; Rhodes and McKenzie 1998). Research on leaving abusive relationships identifies various personal, interpersonal, and societal factors that are classified in various ways in different studies (Anderson and Saunders 2003;Baly 2010;Gelles 1976;Jones and Vetere 2017;Khaw and Hardesty 2013).…”

“…Closer to the decision to leave, some factors can be decisive (e.g., the existence of family or friends support) and even after leaving the relationship, other factors continue to contribute (e.g., education of children), which may reinforce the decision to leave or may compromise it, resulting in a reversal of the decision. For example, motherhood can be a source of empowerment, which helps victims care for their children and survive abusive relationships, or a source of pressure to leave abusive situations (Jones and Vetere 2017;Sani et al 2020;Zink et al 2003). The dissonance between wanting the best for their children and fearing the involvement of child protection services hinders decision-making by victims of IPV (Sani and Carvalho 2018;Zink et al 2003) and thus should be considered in planning for supportive interventions.…”

“…The decision to leave an abusive relationship is very difficult for victims to make, because they must consider their own safety as well as the safety of their children (Jones and Vetere 2017;Peterson 2020;Stephens 1999). The leaving process is complex and contingent upon numerous contexts, such as individual factors (e.g., clinical condition of the victim), interpersonal factors (e.g., support of their family, the needs and safety of their children, the severity of IPV), and community or sociocultural factors (e.g., the existence of victim support services, cultural beliefs about gender roles, coercive control, religious tradition) (Barrios et al 2020; Domenech del Rio and Valle 2019; Estrellado and Loh 2019;Sears 2018;Wilhelm and Tonet 2007).…”