You Can't Do That — Or Can You? Historical and Clinical Perspectives on Limit Setting in Child Psychotherapy

The therapeutic use of ‘no’

“…1 In an equally limited clinical literature, polarised positions are described. [2][3][4] Rather than engaging in a battle for control, therapy should allow the child to experience themselves being out of control, breaking rules in order that they may themselves become aware of and use their own internal brake. For us to attempt to provide control for them only serves to undermine their own sense of uncertainty.…”

“…For us to attempt to provide control for them only serves to undermine their own sense of uncertainty. 2 The contrary position argues for the relief that containment provides for the similarly desperate child, and notes how this important developmental task becomes lost by parents and services that retreat, reward, rescue or retaliate. The critical task is to remain firm at the contact boundary, to tolerate intense affects and challenging behaviour.…”