You can’t always give what you want: The challenge of providing social support to low self-esteem individuals.

Abstract

It can be challenging for support providers to facilitate effective social support interactions even when they have the best intentions. In the current article, we examine some reasons for this difficulty, with a focus on support recipients' self-esteem as a crucial variable. We predicted that recipients' receptiveness to support would be influenced by both support strategy and recipient self-esteem and that receptiveness in turn would impact providers' perceived caregiving efficacy and relationship quality. Study 1 (hypothetical scenarios), Study 2 (confederate interaction), and Study 3 (reports of recently received support) showed that individuals with low self-esteem (LSEs) are less receptive than are individuals with high self-esteem (HSEs) to support that positively reframes their experience but are equally receptive to support that validates their negative feelings. In Study 4, providers demonstrated some knowledge that positive reframing would be less helpful to LSEs than to HSEs but indicated equal intention to give such support. Study 5 showed that, in a real interaction, friends were indeed equally likely to offer positive reframing to both LSEs and HSEs but were less likely to offer validation to LSEs. LSEs were less accepting of such support, and in turn providers felt worse about the interaction, about themselves, and about their friendship more broadly. Study 6 confirmed that recipients' receptivity to support directly influenced providers' experience of a support interaction as well as their self- and relationship evaluations. The findings illustrate how well-meaning support attempts that do not match recipients' particular preferences may be detrimental to both members of the dyad.

Neural mechanisms of the link between giving social support and health

“…Indeed, giving social support to an individual with low (versus high) self-esteem results in less feelings of happiness and lower perceived relationship quality. 128 In other words, less benefits. These results suggest that the reaction from the receiver of support may influence the giver's health, especially as it relates to the effectiveness of one's support.…”

Agents' self‐esteem moderates the effectiveness of negative‐direct partner regulation strategies

“…However, over time devaluing and lashing out at the partner can lead to the rejection that low‐self‐esteem individuals fear. In particular, because they are faced with the destructive reactions arising from low self‐esteem, partners of people with low self‐esteem become less satisfied over time (Murray, Bellavia, Rose, & Griffin, ; also see Marigold, Cavallo, Holmes, & Wood, ). In addition to being less satisfied, partners may come to expect that low‐self‐esteem individuals will overreact in negative ways to relationship problems.…”

The protective role of self-esteem, perceived social support and job satisfaction against psychological distress among Chinese nurses

“…Furthermore, as a trait, self‐esteem is more difficult to change than social support, even when using interventions among adolescents whose personality is more malleable than that of adults (Hauge, Kvalem, Berget, Enders‐Slegers, & Braastad, ). Additionally, low self‐esteem not only exerts a negative effect on the amount of social support that individuals obtain from their social networks (Marigold, Cavallo, Holmes, & Wood, ), but also influences their perceptions of available social support from others (Lakey & Cassady, ). Hence, the fourth hypothesis is that nurses with higher self‐esteem perceive higher levels of social support.…”