Working hard to make a good impression: the relational consequences of effortful self-presentation

Rethinking Social Relationships in Adulthood: The Differential Investment of Resources Model

“…According to Goffman (1959), the self-regulatory effort is, for example, greater when individuals are engaging in what he calls “frontstage behavior”—interactions in which individuals are engaging in impression management by constantly monitoring their own and others’ behaviors. When interacting with close others, this impression management is not as necessary, such that individuals can engage in less effortful “backstage behavior” with closer social network partners (Dominguez et al, 2020; Leary et al, 1994). Supporting this idea is research by Gosnell et al (2011) showing that interactions with close others are more satisfying when less self-presentational effort is used, whereas interactions with strangers are more satisfying when more self-presentation is involved.…”

“…For example, the individual may perceive lower energy costs for interacting with someone who is dispositionally friendly and higher energy costs for interacting with someone they perceive as judgmental. In general, we would expect that greater similarity between partners would reduce the costs of investment as the need for self-presentation efforts decreases with familiarity (Dominguez et al, 2020; Leary et al, 1994). For example, Cruz et al (2014) found that divergence in acculturation for couples adjusting to a new culture was associated with lower positive marital quality.…”

Typicality and volition as fundamental features of everyday relational communication

“…Perhaps volition is a proximal indicator of things people wish to invest energy in, such as building relationships through interactions that are atypical and energy‐expending now but could pave the way for more energy‐efficient interactions down the line. Taking time to meet up with an old friend, whatever the obstacles, could be seen as an act of relational investment, so could making considerable self‐presentation effort during a first date or on a job interview (Dominguez et al, 2020). A first date is likely atypical yet volitional, and it could yield high returns in terms of connection, especially if a stronger relationship develops.…”

“…This concept is articulated as the connection‐to‐energy ratio (Hall, 2018; Hall & Davis, 2017; Hall & Merolla, 2020). High ratio talk is more likely to satisfy belongingness needs (Dominguez et al, 2020; Hall, 2018) and is associated with more positive and less negative emotions (Hall & Merolla, 2020). By contrast, conflicts (Hall, 2018) and conversations that require effortful self‐presentation (Dominguez et al, 2020) are both energy‐intensive communication episodes, but neither is associated with greater feelings of relatedness.…”

“…High ratio talk is more likely to satisfy belongingness needs (Dominguez et al, 2020; Hall, 2018) and is associated with more positive and less negative emotions (Hall & Merolla, 2020). By contrast, conflicts (Hall, 2018) and conversations that require effortful self‐presentation (Dominguez et al, 2020) are both energy‐intensive communication episodes, but neither is associated with greater feelings of relatedness. Thus, the expenditure of energy in conversation is not, in itself, indicative of a high quality or connecting social interaction.…”