Work, parenting and gender: the care–work negotiations of three couple relationships in the UK

Abstract

Changes globally mean that there are now record numbers of mothers in paid employment and a reported prevalence of involved fathering. This poses challenges to mothers and fathers as they negotiate care-work practices within their relationships. Focusing on interviews with three heterosexual couples (taken from a wider UK qualitative project on working parents), the paper considers care-work negotiations of three couples, against a backdrop of debates about intensive mothering and involved fathering. It aims to consider different configurations of work and care within three different couple relationships. We found that power within the relationships was negotiated along differential axis of gender and working status (full or part time paid work) .We present qualitatively rich insights into these negotiations. Framed by a critical discursive psychological approach, we call on other researchers to think critically about dominant discourses and practices of working, caring and parenting, pointedly how couples situated around the world operationalise these discourses in talking about themselves as worker and carers.

Breadwinning as care? The meaning of paid work in mothers’ and fathers’ constructions of parenting

“…assessing care-receiving at home cannot be put on the same level in defining parental involvement (see Christiansen & Palkovitz, 2001). Although 'money does not solve human needs' (Tronto, 1993, p. 107), autonomy and power are still guaranteed by paid work (Fisher & Tronto, 1990;Yarwood & Locke, 2016), and breadwinning enables a parent 'to predict, to judge and to command resources' (Tronto, 1993, p. 43). When examining one parent's involvement, research has to take into account the marked difference between involvement in parental care in its entirety and involvement in direct, hands-on and mostly not reimbursed caregiving.…”

‘She has mellowed me into the idea of SPL’: unpacking relational resources in UK couples’ discussions of Shared Parental Leave take-up

“…Employment status and earnings can disrupt these gendered assumptions, though to a limited degree (Beglaubter, 2017;Yarwood & Locke, 2015). For example, in Canada Beglaubter (2017) wrote that when men's parental leave pay was topped up, or when women expressed strong attachment to their careers, this could offer an opportunity to negotiate increased leave for men.…”

What happens to the couple relationship when sharing parental leave? A prospective, longitudinal study

“…Several studies (Bäckström, Kåreholt, Thorstensson, Golsäter & Mårtensson, 2018; Canário & Figueiredo, 2016; Doss, Rhoades, Stanley & Markman, 2009; Lawrence, Rothman, Cobb, Rothman & Bradbury, 2008; Ngai & Ngu, 2016; Shapiro, Gottman & Carrère, 2000), as well as two meta‐analyses (Mitnick, Heyman & Smith Slep, 2009; Twenge, Campbell & Foster, 2003), have shown significantly lower relationship satisfaction after the transition to parenthood, while the opposite, that is, higher relationship satisfaction, also has been shown (Kluwer, 2010). Potential reasons for a lower relationship quality include role conflict and restriction of freedom after the birth of a child (Oláh, Kotowska & Richter, 2018; Twenge et al ., 2003), less positive spousal interaction (Houts, Barnett‐Walker, Paley & Cox, 2008; Kluwer & Johnson, 2007), and the demanding task of combining childcare, household work, and paid work (Kushner, Sopcak, Breitkreuz et a l ., 2017; Yarwood & Locke, 2016). Experiencing early parenthood as stressful with insufficient communication between partners (Deave, Johnson & Ingram, 2008; Hansson & Ahlborg, 2016; Trillingsgaard, Baucom & Heyman, 2014), or suffering from sleep disruption as new parents (Medina, Lederhos & Lillis, 2009; Nelson, Kushlev & Lyubomirsky, 2014), also might contribute to lower quality of the couple relationship.…”