Who’s Going to Keep Us Safe? Surviving Domestic Violence and Shared Parenting During Covid-19

Abstract

This paper discusses the experiences during COVID-19 of mothers who have young children, are survivors of domestic violence and who share parenting to highlight the further unsafe situations survivors of violence and their children were placed in during the pandemic. Part of a larger mixed methods study, these participants (n = 19) from three Canadian provinces, Alberta, Manitoba and Ontario, engaged in virtual individual one-on-one interviews via zoom. Using thematic analysis, four themes emerged from the data: 1) increased use of coercive controlling behaviors; 2) fear of the unknown; 3) lack of supports; and, 4) finding balance. Direct quotes are used to highlight the meaning of each theme. We outline the challenges these women have that are in addition to those experienced by many during COVID-19 times (increased stress, isolation, disconnect from supports, financial challenges). These include managing the shared parenting arrangements with a former abusive partner who used the pandemic as a further opportunity for coercive controlling behaviors under the guise of the public health order. The mothers were left to manage the difficult exchanges with a former abusive partner and unknown circumstances of the pandemic without guidance and support from legal actors. There will need to be a prioritization of the safety of mothers and their children in post-divorce parenting arrangements both during times of a community lockdown such as during the pandemic and also during non-pandemic times.

Intimate Partner Violence Survivors’ Perspectives on Coping With Family Court Processes

“…Future studies should continue to investigate how family court processes may be modified to reduce distress to survivors and children (e.g., comparing the experiences of survivors who had an advocate throughout the process to those who did not; examining outcomes for survivors and children when an IPV screening took place). As some survivors described fear when their abusive ex-partners violated court orders, research examining tools for survivors with minimal supports whose ex-partners ignore the requests of the court is greatly needed (Archer-Kuhn et al, 2023). Future research may also employ a range of methodological designs using a trauma-informed approach to data collection (e.g., interviews; focus groups; quantitative designs).…”

“…This finding is consistent with a prior study indicating that survivors’ demeanors (i.e., pleasant vs. hostile) are a predictor of custody evaluators’ recommendations (Hardesty et al, 2015) and existing qualitative research, in which survivors have described pressure to act in a calm and unemotional manner in the courtroom for fear of appearing unstable and unfit to parent (Khaw et al, 2021; Miller & Manzer, 2021). Displays of emotion or disordered testimony (sometimes a result of PTSD, traumatic brain injury, or the re-traumatization caused by facing an abusive ex-partner) may influence judges to see an abusive ex-partner, who may appear comparatively relaxed and organized, as more plausible (Campbell, 2017; Epstein & Goodman, 2019; Khaw et al, 2021; Saunders & Oglesby, 2016; Ward, 2016). As some survivors attempt to remain composed in court, they can also be perceived as aloof, hurting their cause (Katirai, 2020; Miller & Manzer, 2021; Saunders & Oglesby, 2016).…”

“…Contributing to a stressful court experience for survivors, many partners continue a pattern of abuse by enacting coercive control through post-separation legal processes (i.e., “legal abuse”; Gutowski & Goodman, 2023a). Legal abuse includes threatening and attempting to reduce the other parent's custody and visitation time (e.g., Campbell, 2017; Watson & Ancis, 2013), threatening children's safety (e.g., Zeoli et al, 2013), using in-person proceedings to cause distress (e.g., Elizabeth, 2017; Miller & Smolter, 2011), defaming the other parent's character and ability to parent (e.g., Watson & Ancis, 2013), and harming the other parent financially, such as through threats or attempts to take or withhold finances (Gutowski & Goodman, 2023a). In addition to this misuse of court processes, partners can coerce and manipulate court-ordered mediation processes (Douglas, 2018) and shared parenting arrangements (Zeoli et al, 2013).…”

“…Miller and Smolter (2011) compared these mechanisms to stalking, as abusive ex-partners may use court systems to maintain extended contact with survivors under the pretense of legal processes. Ex-partners’ use of litigation (e.g., challenging child support requirements, demanding greater visitation, or requesting custody rights) can place a burden on survivors’ economic and psychological resources by forcing them to return again and again to court (Campbell, 2017; Miller & Smolter, 2011; Watson & Ancis, 2013; Ward, 2016; Watson & Ancis, 2013). Similarly, abusive ex-partners may request adjournments, call unnecessary witnesses, or even file for protection orders against survivors to delay legal processes (Douglas, 2018; Ward, 2016).…”

“…Accounts from survivors detail the psychological distress caused by ongoing contact with abusive ex-partners (e.g., via family court appearances, co-parenting, and mediation; Gutowski & Goodman, 2020; Ward, 2016; Zeoli et al, 2013). Some report that custody proceedings are a source of re-traumatization, as survivors must contend with being in the same room as the person who abused them and exposure to continued attempts by this other parent to regain control (Campbell, 2017; Gutowski & Goodman, 2020; Katirai, 2020). Many survivors describe entering into family law processes affected by the psychological, emotional, economic, and sometimes physical toll of the abuse only to experience a worsening of these sequelae as a consequence of legal abuse (Gutowski & Goodman, 2020; Katirai, 2020; Miller & Manzer, 2021; Ward, 2016).…”