Who Am I? A Black Leader's Personal Reflections of that Journey

Abstract

The article offers insights into the intricacies of black leadership development. It explores the personal and professional development of 'self' in relation to black leadership within white British social, educational and employment contexts. It provides illustrations of self discovery to support black leaders operating closer to who they are.

Atypical Black Leader Emergence: South African Self-Perceptions

“…In South Africa, specifically, Hocoy (1999) proposed that the study of black racial identity was crucial to determine the extent to which discrimination experienced by black South Africans may have damaged their mental health. Bartley (2013) suggested that black leaders, like herself, could occupy a leadership position in relation to the ‘other’ and be competent and effective, all the while holding the white leader experience in high esteem. Our research results revealed that black leaders could distance themselves from ‘other blacks’ when they were in leadership positions.…”

“…These black South Africans form white relationships and, in some cases, these relationships lose their ‘innocence’ and connection when the reality of South Africa’s racial segregation infiltrates their consciousness – P1 explained: “… I noticed race in the first year of varsity … where you might have been high school mates with white friends, but all of a sudden you are no longer mates. People pass you and you are like: ‘Hawu besiblomile [we were hanging out] over lunch 3 weeks ago, and now all of a sudden it is as if we have never seen each other’.” Similarly, Bartley (2013) narrates a childhood story of a day when she walked hand-in-hand with her white friend who, upon seeing other white kids, quickly let go of her hand. To Bartley (2013) this was experienced as a surreptitious judgment of her blackness and, on a psychological level, made her feel inferior in relation to whiteness.…”

“…People pass you and you are like: ‘Hawu besiblomile [we were hanging out] over lunch 3 weeks ago, and now all of a sudden it is as if we have never seen each other’.” Similarly, Bartley (2013) narrates a childhood story of a day when she walked hand-in-hand with her white friend who, upon seeing other white kids, quickly let go of her hand. To Bartley (2013) this was experienced as a surreptitious judgment of her blackness and, on a psychological level, made her feel inferior in relation to whiteness. Similarly, P1 was hurt and bewildered by the rejection which would continue into her adulthood.…”

“…There is an argument that research needs to delve deeper into black leadership – particularly how African leaders behave, why they behave in the ways that they do, and the impact of those behaviors on organizations ( Kuada, 2010 ). Bartley (2013) suggests that certain dynamics, to some extent, exist within black leaders which she refers to as ‘internal defaults.’ Examples of these defaults are ‘not good enough,’ ‘silenced,’ ‘dis-guarded,’ ‘furtive,’ ‘black in the negative’ - all of these in addition to other external behaviors that black leaders are subjected to Bartley (2013) . Nkomo (2011) suggests that Africa needs to seek its own solutions and approaches to leadership and management, to reclaim the identity of its people.…”

“… Alleyne (2004) refers to an ‘internal oppressor,’ which she describes as that part of the self that carries historical and trans -generational pain. Bartley (2013) recounts her experience with internalized oppression where she constantly second-guessed her competence because she – a black woman – believed that she was not as good as white people. Alleyne (2004) claims that the result of internalized oppression is low self-esteem and self-hate – neither of which is particularly helpful for leader emergence.…”