When Children Participate in the Death Ritual of a Parent: Funerary Photographs as Mnemonic Objects

Abstract

When children lose a parent during childhood this offers emotional and life changing moments. It is important for them to be included in the death ritual and to be recognized as grievers alongside adults. Recent research has shown that children themselves consider it relevant to be part of the 'communitas' of grievers and do not like to be set aside because they are considered to be too young to participate. In this case study, I describe how a Dutch mother encouraged her three children, aged 12, 9 and 6, to participate in the death rituals of their father. She asked a funeral photographer to document the rituals. In that way, later on in their life, the children would have a visual report of the time of his death in addition to their childhood memories. The objective of my case study research was first, to explore in detail hów children are able to participate in death rituals in a carefully contemplated manner and in accordance with their age and wishes, and second, to examine the relevance of funeral photographs to them in later years. The funeral photographs will be presented as a visual essay of how and when the children took part in the rituals and which ritual objects, such as the coffin and the grave, but also letters, poems and drawings were important in creating an ongoing bond with their deceased father. The conclusion of this case study presentation is that funeral photographs of death rituals may function as mnemonic objects later on in the life of children who lost a parent in their childhood. These photographs enable children, when necessary, to materialize how they participated in the death ritual of their father or mother. In this respect they can be seen as functional means of continuing bonds in funeral culture, linking the past with the present, in particular when young children are involved.

Adding a New Dimension to Grief Counseling: Creative Personal Ritual as a Therapeutic Tool for Loss, Trauma and Transition

“…It is also important to consider the psychospiritual value of personal rituals for children who are grieving. According to Faro (2018, p. 2), children want to be recognized as grievers alongside adults, though they are often excluded from funerals and other death rituals. Faro tells the story of a Dutch mother who helped her young children (6, 9 and 12 years) to participate in rituals surrounding their father’s death, and hired a photographer to document these rituals so the children could recall them later in life.…”

Immediate bereavement experiences when a parent of dependent children has died of cancer: Funeral directors' perspectives

“…Researchers from the Harvard Medical School Child Bereavement Study reported to facilitate a better grief experience for children it is important for them to 'maintain a relationship' with their parent that has died (Silverman & Nickman, 1996;; often referred to as 'continuing bonds' (Karydi, 2018). Protective factors highlighted to promote continuing bonds between a child and the recently deceased parent during the immediate bereavement period have included: listening to and sharing of stories regarding the dead parent during the wake (Haine et al, 2008), writing poems or letters and placing these inside the coffin with the parent (Faro, 2018;Holland, 2004;Mahon, 2009;Søfting et al, 2016), as well as choosing the flowers or music for the funeral service (Holland, 2004;Mahon, 2009;Søfting et al, 2016). Other studies have reported involving children in the immediate bereavement period helps them understand the finality of death (Christ, 2000) and feel valued as a family member (Søfting et al, 2016;Worden, 1996), which can help facilitate better adjustment and coping into adulthood (Christ, 2000;Faro, 2018;Fristad et al, 2000;Holland, 2004;Saldinger et al, 2004;Søfting et al, 2016;Weller et al,1988;Worden, 1996).…”

Photography in Social Science Research

“…In short, the status of photography in research is much debated and even controversial, whatever its origin -for example, whether or not taken specifically for research, or the intentional involvement of the researcher in obtaining the photograph and its interpretation. In most situations, photography functions more as a complement or triangulation element with information collected through other techniques (Bogdan & Biklen, 1999;O'Hara & Higgins, 2017;Wang & Dong, 2013;Hamer, 2016;Faro, 2018).…”