When Battered Mothers Lose Custody: A Qualitative Study of Abuse at Home and in the Courts

Secondary Victimization of Abused Mothers by Family Court Mediators

“…The court system holds mothers to higher standards of parenting than fathers, plus mothers are expected to be “friendly parents” by facilitating their children’s relationships with their fathers (Jaffe et al, 2003; Slote et al, 2005; Zorza, 2007). Some women are discouraged by their attorneys from mentioning abuse or pursuing restricted visitations with the abusive fathers—even when they have documented evidence of the abuse (Bemiller, 2008; Hardesty & Ganong, 2006). Physical abuse is more likely than psychological abuse to be documented in ways that are considered as objective evidence (e.g., arrest reports, photographs).…”

“…Unfortunately, IPA does not always end when the relationship ends, and in fact often escalates (Fleury, Sullivan, & Bybee, 2000; Hardesty, 2002; Hardesty & Chung, 2006; Jaffe, Lemon, & Poisson, 2003; Kurz, 1996). Many women experience postseparation abuse (PSA) and, for mothers, much of this abuse is directed at and/or occurs through their children (Beeble, Bybee, & Sullivan, 2007; Bemiller, 2008; Hardesty, 2002; Hardesty & Ganong, 2006; Harrison, 2008; Kurz, 1996; Moe, 2009; Slote et al, 2005). Women report that abusers use their children to exert control over them by threatening the children’s lives, mistreating their children to punish them, and being physically abusive toward the children (Hardesty & Ganong, 2006; Slote et al, 2005).…”

“…Mothers with primary physical custody of their children have also described having difficulty getting their children back from visitations with their fathers (Hardesty & Ganong, 2006). Similarly, noncustodial mothers report that abusive fathers restrict their access to, communication with, and visitation of the children beyond any court decree (Bemiller, 2008; Hardesty & Ganong, 2006; Kernic, Monary-Ernsdorff, Koepsell, & Holt, 2005). On the extreme end, abusive fathers may murder mothers and/or murder or kidnap children (Jaffe et al, 2003; Saunders, 2009).…”

If we knew what happened, we would know better what to do: A commentary on Kleinman and Kaplan's “Relaxation of rules for science detrimental to children”

“…Policies favoring frequent, continuing access and joint custody match the needs of the general population of divorcing and separating parents, but these same policies can threaten the safety of victims of abusive relationships and their children. All too often ex-partners repetitively litigate and incorporate disputes about access to the children into their coercive and controlling behaviors toward their victims (Bemiller, 2008;Kernic, MonaryErnsdorff, Koepsell, & Holt, 2005). Friendly parent statutes emphasizing parental cooperation often create difficult dilemmas for survivors of abuse.…”

Intensive Child Therapy to Prevent Further Abuse Victimization: A Case Study

“…Yet, when mothers try to tell Child Protective Services (CPS), custody evaluators, or judges about the child abuse, they are routinely accused of fabricating the abuse, coaching the child to falsely claim abuse, and ''alienating'' the child from the abuser-despite the fact that so-called alienation, as used in this context, has been definitively discredited (Meier, 2009). Bizarrely, the alienation claim not only commonly leads to the abuse concerns being disregarded, but to mothers otherwise regarded as good parents losing custody to the abuser (Bemiller, 2008;Dallam, 2008;Plummer & Eastin, 2007a, 2007b. Rather than risk losing custody, some mothers will avoid mentioning the child abuse in family court; but this also means that the child continues to have visits with the abuser.…”