“We'll just draw the curtains!”: Military wives’ postures toward predeployment emotional preparation

Abstract

Objective: This research explored how 13 military wives emotionally prepared for deployments, and how their preparation affected the degree of emotional difficulty experienced on deployment day. Background: Previous research has identified that military wives emotionally detach or withdraw in order not to become emotionally overwhelmed leading up to deployment, but this may affect their deployment-day experience. Method: A grounded theory approach to analyze semistructured interviews yielded emergent themes regarding how these military wives perceived the efficacy of emotionally preparing for deployment and their accompanying preparatory approaches. Results: When preparing for deployment, these wives primarily adopted either a protective emotional preparation (PEP) approach (characterized by tactics of emotionally retreating, psyching yourself out, and/or circumventing emotional conversations) or a connective emotional preparation (CEP) approach (characterized by preemptive preparation, relying on husbands' initiative, sharing quality time, or some sort of spiritual connection). Conclusion: These PEP and CEP approaches seemed to influence the degree of emotional difficulty the wives reported experiencing on the day of deployment (traumatic vs. terribly difficult). Implications: This PEP-CEP framework could help facilitate informed decisions about emotional preparation and Morse's emotional cycle of deployment. Implications and suggestions for policy and clinical considerations are discussed, including those pertaining to CFLEs, military organizations, and mental health professionals.

Relationship maintenance among military couples

“…For example, interviews with British Army wives revealed that they experience ambiguity about taking control of the household in preparation for departure while the service member is still present (Long, 2021). Another tension involves negotiating conflicting desires to spend quality time together to preserve closeness, on one hand, versus emotionally distancing oneself to protect against upcoming heartache, on the other hand (Bóia et al, 2018; Cafferky et al, 2022; Larsen et al, 2015). Both Portuguese military wives (Bóia et al, 2018) and U.S. military wives (Cafferky et al, 2022) report feeling torn between engaging in relationship maintenance during the pre-deployment stage versus disengaging from the relationship, but wives who privilege connection may handle the departure more effectively (Cafferky et al, 2022).…”

“…Another tension involves negotiating conflicting desires to spend quality time together to preserve closeness, on one hand, versus emotionally distancing oneself to protect against upcoming heartache, on the other hand (Bóia et al, 2018; Cafferky et al, 2022; Larsen et al, 2015). Both Portuguese military wives (Bóia et al, 2018) and U.S. military wives (Cafferky et al, 2022) report feeling torn between engaging in relationship maintenance during the pre-deployment stage versus disengaging from the relationship, but wives who privilege connection may handle the departure more effectively (Cafferky et al, 2022). Such findings suggest that military couples preparing for deployment face communication challenges such as managing uncertainty and navigating competing desires between relationship preservation and self protection.…”

Military couples' experiences in the aftermath of a cancelled deployment

“…Service members and family members may emotionally distance themselves from each other as a means of preparing for separation (Pincus et al, 2001; Sahlstein et al, 2009; Yablonsky et al, 2016). More recent research suggests that some military partners engage in protective emotional preparation for deployment (e.g., avoiding emotional conversations, withdrawal) as a means of increasing their agency and sense of control (Cafferky et al, 2021). Such emotional preparation highlights the significance of examining military couples’ experiences in the aftermath of a deployment cancellation.…”