Untangling Self‐Blame and Mother‐Blame in Women's and Children's Perspectives on Maternal Protectiveness in Domestic Violence: Implications for Practice

Abstract

Research into maternal protectiveness in domestic violence has focused either on women's experiences of mothering or children's experiences of growing up in domestic violence. This paper reports on a qualitative research study with both mothers and individuals who grew up in domestic violence that sought to explore perspectives on, and experiences of, maternal protectiveness in the two groups. The study used a feminist social constructionist theoretical perspective and a relational empowerment methodology, and involved interviews with nine mothers and 16 individuals who grew up in domestic violence. Thematic analysis revealed the different ways that mothers and children approached the question of so‐called ‘failure to protect’. Analysis revealed that themes of self‐blame by the mothers and mother‐blame by those who grew up in domestic violence were common, with three main thematic categories capturing the ways in which blame was constructed: (1) centring feminine traits; (2) self‐blame and guilt; and (3) the double bind of protection. The paper explores the gendered discourses about mothering and femininity that frame practices of self‐blame and mother‐blame, elaborating the double bind of protection that women face. The paper also explores the implications for practitioners who work with domestic violence in balancing the need to strengthen connections between mothers and children and, at the same time, safeguard children. Copyright © 2015 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Key Practitioner Messages Mothers commonly blame themselves for so-called ‘failure to protect’ their children in domestic violence. Individuals who grew up in violence often blame their mothers for ‘failure to protect’. Mother‐blame draws on a range of femininity and victim‐blaming discourses that can entangle women and children further in violence. Practitioners can encourage communication between mothers and children to repair relationships after violence.

Domestic Abuse and Safeguarding Children: Focus, Response and Intervention

“…Maternal protectiveness is a complex issue and Nicola Moulding and colleagues’ () ‘untangling’ provides some helpful insights. Through their feminist social constructionist lens, they highlight the dynamic of self‐blame among mothers, and mother‐blame among adults who were exposed to domestic abuse in childhood.…”

Exploring approaches to child welfare in contexts of domestic violence and abuse: Family group conferences

“…In addition, whilst deliberately drawing on particular narratives and stereotypes, an effect of the self‐serving techniques employed by male perpetrators, Morris (: 417) argues, is the portrayal of mothers as “irrational, lying, monstrous and unloving, and culpable for all problems in the family.” This can lead to women taking the blame for the problems in the family and for their lack of ability to protect their children. Moulding et al (: 249) highlight additional consequences of victim‐blaming discourse in terms of children and adults (who grew up with violence) blaming their mothers. They also highlight the difficulty of disentangling women and children from further abuse.…”

Reconnecting mothers and children after violence (RECOVER): a feasibility study protocol of child–parent psychotherapy in Australia

“…The person using violence will often denigrate her social expectations and identity as a ‘good mother’ 17. Mothers may also denigrate and blame themselves for failing to protect their children from violence 18. These abusive dynamics interfere with motherhood,19 often depriving women and children of a mutually enjoyable relationship with one another 16.…”