Undersociality is unwise

Abstract

Wise decisions are often guided by an accurate understanding of the expected values of different possible choices. In social contexts, wisdom comes from understanding how others are likely to respond to one's actions, enabling people to make choices that maximize both their own and others' outcomes. Our research suggests that miscalibrated social cognition may create a systematic barrier to wiser decisions in social life. From expressing appreciation to offering support to performing acts of kindness, this program of research indicates that decisions to engage with others are driven by how people expect a recipient to respond, but that people consistently underestimate how positively others will respond to their other-oriented actions.Because connecting with others consistently increases people's own wellbeing, miscalibrated social cognition may lead to undersociality: being overly reluctant to reach out and connect with others. Miscalibrated expectations about social engagement can create markets for products that help people overcome these barriers in order to consume their time, money, and effort more wisely.

When is sociality congruent with self‐care?

“…Whereas increased sociality will often benefit well‐being (Kumar & Epley, 2023), we have argued that future research is needed to investigate two key questions: First, when will sociality promote well‐being (i.e., what is the optimal level of sociality on a given occasion)? Second, when will consumers engage in self‐care activities even when the consumption activity does not involve an activity partner?…”

“…A compelling program of research, summarized by Kumar and Epley (2023), suggests that consumers underinvest in “sociality,” including spending time with others and providing gifts or help to others. Kumar and Epley (2023) argue that consumers underinvest in being social because they underestimate how good they (and their recipients) will feel when they engage in other‐oriented actions.…”

“…A compelling program of research, summarized by Kumar and Epley (2023), suggests that consumers underinvest in “sociality,” including spending time with others and providing gifts or help to others. Kumar and Epley (2023) argue that consumers underinvest in being social because they underestimate how good they (and their recipients) will feel when they engage in other‐oriented actions. For example, contrary to consumers' expectations, people feel happier when spending money on another person than on themselves, and when having versus foregoing a conversation with a stranger during a commute.…”

“…We argue that the relationship between sociality and self‐care is both important and complex. The benefits of sociality for consumers' own well‐being are profound and adding social moments to one's day can have surprisingly positive impacts on consumers' own happiness (Kumar & Epley, 2023). However, there can be costs from other‐oriented consumption and benefits from self‐oriented consumption, such as when sociality itself leads to burnout (Scheffer et al, 2022).…”

Understanding undersociality: Intentions, impressions, and interactions

“…Both commentaries raise important questions for future research in this area, in consumer behavior and beyond. We (Kumar & Epley, 2023) reviewed what might be considered the first generation of research examining the extent to which expectations about social interactions might be systematically miscalibrated in ways that discourage social engagement. This first generation has documented robust main effects and suggested potential mechanisms.…”