Toward the Management of Heterosexual Jealousy*

Abstract

The findings of a recent study of extradyadic involvements and sexual jealousy among college‐age couples are reported. Evidence is brought to bear in support of the principle finding that several aspects of the jealousy experience (eliciting factors, manner of expression) can and do vary widely among individuals. Despite the apparent universality of the jealousy phenomenon, communication in couples is inhibited by the social disapproval associated with its occurrence, and consequently discrepancies such as those evidenced in this study may pass entirely unobserved. As a result, jealousy problems remain unresolved and may serve to trigger further dissension. In light of these findings, developing communication skills is identified as the appropriate treatment mode for sexual jealousy.

Extramarital Relations: Counselling Considerations and a Developmental Perspective

“…Jealous reactions are common elements of extramarital situations. Francis (1977) found that men's jealousy was primarily associated with sexual involvement between their partner and a third party, and with comparison to a rival male. Females, on the other hand, tended to associate their jealous reactions with a more generalized loss of the partner such as the partner spending time with or talking to a competitor.…”

“…Jealous reactions arise when a person expects to have to share another person, or aspect of their life with a third party. Such reactions are common when extradyadic issues arise (Francis, 1977). I believe that secrecy and jealousy are unavoidable hurdles for most individuals in their attempts to understand the exclusive or nonexclusive nature of their emotional and sexual commitments.…”

Extramarital Relations: Gaining Greater Awareness

“…Some of these characteristics, such as thought and emotional turmoil, search for an interpretive framework, and uncertainty about the future, are readily identified by participants. Jealous reactions are also common elements of extramarital situations (Bernard, 1977;Francis, 1977) and discussion of these matters is worthwhile.…”

Overcoming Jealousy: An Experiential Analysis of Common Factors

“…This barrier, with its related feelings of being left out, cheated, excluded, unappreciated, and so on, is experienced as standing in the way of our obtaining what we would like. For jealousy to be possible, some such inaccessibility must be felt (see also Corzine, 1974;Daher & Cohen, 1979;Durbin, 1977;Ellis, 1972;Evans, 1975;Francis, 1977;Mazur, 1973;Seeman, 1979;Wagner, 1976). We must feel it is difficult or impossible to have the desirable experience of the other person.…”

“…Several investigators (Blood & Blood, 1977;Buunk, 1980;Clanton & Smith, 1977a;Francis, 1977) have suggested that one way to establish a greater sense of predictability and control in our adult relationships is to openly communicate feelings, expectations, beliefs, and meanings in an ongoing dialogue and to agree on specific guidelines, ground rules, or limits that will govern given relationships. Ard (1967) has suggested that persons contemplating marriage might find it helpful to discuss hypothetical situations that could trigger destructive jealousy as a way of discerning each other's expectations in advance.…”