To date or not to date, that is the question: older single gay men's concerns about dating

Abstract

Previous research with older gay men has overlooked their concerns about dating. This paper addresses the gap by analysing in-depth interviews conducted with 25 selfidentified single gay men over the age of 50, who lived in England. The paper focuses on the research question: "What factors do older, single gay men consider when they contemplate dating?". Five factors were identified which affected their decisions about whether to date. Because the same factors operated simultaneously to encourage and to discourage them to contemplate dating, feelings of tension and ambivalence were reported by participants. Although some of these issues are similar to the ones older straight people considered, some of the concerns identified in this study were distinctively different for older gay men. The findings can help to make therapists aware that being single among older gay men is not only a personal experience, but is heavily influenced by social ideals and historical development of gay rights. It also can inform therapists of the factors that encourage and discourage older gay men from contemplating dating. This awareness can help therapists with developing effective strategies for working with clients on the topic of relationships.

Sexual Aging: A Systematic Review of Qualitative Research on the Sexuality and Sexual Health of Older Adults

“…All of the studies that focused on the positive consequences of erectile problems were conducted in Western societies. Two studies investigated older gay men’s sexuality: one explored dating among older single gay men (Suen, 2015) and the other explored sexual changes in the lives of the “gay liberation generation” (Lyons et al, 2015). These studies indicated both positive (more sexual freedoms, more acceptance of gay men) and negative (ageism, youth-oriented gay culture, lack of emotional intimacy) changes that occurred during the aging process.…”

“…Older gay men reported both positive and negative attitudes toward entering a relationship. Being single leaves sexual needs unfulfilled for some, but for others, a relationship would restrain opportunities for sexual exploration (Suen, 2015). When actively looking for an intimate relationship, older gay men are faced with age discrimination in the gay community and may believe that advanced age makes them less attractive (Kushner, Neville, & Adams, 2013; Suen, 2015).…”

Mapping the Spatial–Temporal Distribution and Migration Patterns of Men Who Have Sex with Men in Mainland China: A Web-Based Study

“…Users who were 18-35 years old were the main users of the website. Most MSM could not find lovers on the Internet or establish stable relationships with others [38]. Gay marriage is still socially unacceptable in China [39,40].…”

Older Single Gay Men’s Body Talk: Resisting and Rigidifying the Aging Discourse in the Gay Community

“…Support groups for older gay men can be set up to assist them to navigate the challenging issues around ageing and body image that they face. Therapists also need to be aware of the body image issues that older gay men face (Suen, 2015). The gay media have been criticised for the disproportionate featuring of younger bodies, and there is a need for a broader range of images to be represented.…”