Time for “The Talk” . . . Now What? Autonomy Support and Structure in Mother-Daughter Conversations About Sex

Abstract

This study explored how mothers communicated with their young adolescent daughters about the high-stakes topic of sex, as well as more everyday topics, from a Self-Determination Theory perspective. Mothers and their 11- to 14-year-old daughters (44 dyads) participated in two conversations and reported on their experiences. In the everyday conversation, maternal autonomy support was positively related to daughters’ experience, engagement, and desire for additional conversations. In the sex conversation, maternal structure was positively associated with daughters’ engagement, experience, and desire for additional conversations. Mothers were less autonomy supportive in conversations about sex, as compared to everyday topics. Maternal perceptions of threat were associated with less autonomy support in both conversations and worry during the conversation was negatively associated with autonomy support in the everyday conversation, and with structure in the sex conversation. Implications for intervention are discussed.

21st Century Parent–Child Sex Communication in the United States: A Process Review

“…When mothers provided information and feedback, daughters were more engaged and desired further conversations about sex (Mauras, Grolnick, & Friendly, 2013). However, most mothers admitted they only discussed sex-related issues at their daughters’ initiation and they did not talk about sex unless asked (Baier & Wampler, 2008; Elliott, 2010a).…”

Different ways of knowing a child and their relations to mother‐reported autonomy support

“…One possible candidate for this suppressing variable could be the nature of maternal behavior when sensitive topics such as distressing events are under consideration. Mauras, Grolnick, and Friendly () found that direct questioning and guidance were preferred by girls when sensitive issues (e.g., sexual activity), as opposed to everyday topics, were under consideration. In this case autonomy‐supportive mothers who encourage the exploration of their children's ideas might be less likely to provide conditions that would promote child knowledge.…”

How Parents Contribute to Children’s Psychological Health: The Critical Role of Psychological Need Support

“…Compared to research on supports for relatedness and autonomy, there is less research on parental structure, although a relevant study on teachers providing structure to adolescents did predict more student behavioral engagement (Jang, Reeve, & Deci, 2010). Further, studies are beginning to show that parental structure is related to important motivational and developmental outcomes in different life domains, including academic competence, engagement, and performance (e.g., Farkas & Grolnick, 2010;Grolnick, Raftery-Helmer, Flamm, Marbell, & Cardemil, 2015), feelings of competence during unsupervised time (e.g., activities with friends in the absence of parents; Grolnick et al, 2014), and engagement and positive experiences during parent-child conversations about sensitive topics such as sexuality (Mauras, Grolnick, & Friendly, 2013). In contrast, parental chaos has been found to relate to problem behaviors such as substance use and delinquency (Skinner et al, 2005).…”