Themes of Hope and Healing: Infertile Couples' Experiences of Adoption

Abstract

Using a qualitative approach, the authors explored the experiences of becoming parents through adoption after unsuccessful infertility treatments. During in-depth narrative interviews, 39 infertile couples shared their stories of how they determined that adoption was an acceptable parenting option, the vicissitudes of the adoption process, and their experiences of becoming adoptive parents. Phenomenological analysis of these data revealed 3 overarching themes. These findings are discussed in terms of their implications for counselors who work with infertile couples considering adoption, clients engaged in the adoption process, and those who have recently made the transition to parenthood through adoption.

Social Factors Predicting Women’s Consideration of Adoption

“…Findings from a study of 39 infertile heterosexual couples who had adopted a child suggest that adoption was seen as a "backup plan" if infertility treatments were not successful (Daniluk & Hurtig-Mitchell, 2003). Results indicate the couples went through years of medical procedures for infertility while believing "they could always adopt" (p. 392).…”

“…The average age of the women in the study was about 38, the mean duration of relationships was about nine years, mean family income was $124,000, and the vast majority of the adopting parents (76%) had received a bachelor's degree or above. Similar to the couples in Daniluk and Hurtig-Mitchell's (2003) study, most had completed extensive infertility treatment procedures before deciding to stop trying to conceive and move toward adoption. Although there were many similarities between lesbian and heterosexual couples in the transition from conception to adoption, lesbian couples often perceived an easier transition, due to less relational conflict and earlier openness to adoption, with a lesser degree of commitment to having a biological child.…”

“…Bachrach, et al, 1991;Chandra et al, 1999;Daniluk & Hurtig-Mitchell, 2003;Hollingsworth, 2000b;Williams, 1992). People experiencing infertility view adoption as one way to form a family.…”

A Systematic Review of Courses, Training, and Interventions for Adoptive Parents

“…Some adoptive parents have spent several years trying to have children of their own (Hogström et al, 2012), especially those adopting internationally, meaning that they are often older than non-adoptive parents (Hove et al, 2009). Adoptive parents may also have to deal with issues that are unique to their situation such as long waiting periods (Baden, Gibbons, Wilson, & McGinnis, 2013), pressure to be outstanding parents (Daniluk & Hurtig-Mitchell, 2003), and a lack of role models as friends and relatives are usually parents to children of their own biological background (i.e., role model handicap; Juffer et al, 2011). At the same time, the number of children adopted internationally has decreased dramatically in Western countries in recent years (Selman, 2012), the children being adopted are now usually older at the time of adoption than previously and, more often, have special needs such as medical or developmental challenges (Miller, Pérouse de Montclos, & Sorge, 2016).…”

Expectations of Male and Female Adoptive Parents of Different Marital Status and Sexual Orientation

“…Specific laws vary from state to state, and not all states allow same-sex couples to adopt as joint parents (LifeLong Adoptions, 2017). In addition, adoptions generally involve exorbitant fees ($32,000-$42,300, on average for domestic infant adoption; $31,000-$45,000, on average, for international adoption, The National Infertility & Adoption Education Nonprofit, 2015), time investment and uncertainty (Daniluk & Hurtig-Mitchell, 2003), social stigmas often faced by adoptive parents as not "real" parents (Fisher, 2003;Miall, 1987), and covert bias against some prospective adoptive parents as not "ideal" applicants (Perrin & the Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, 2002). That is, adoption is often an arduous and unpredictable process during which prospective parents are scrutinized in a manner biological parents typically are not.…”