The Search for Meaning after Pregnancy Loss: An Autoethnography

Abstract

The focus of this autoethnography is the often hidden and marginalized experience of pregnancy loss. Through an exploration of “the search for meaning” in the aftermath of three different losses over a period of 9 years, I seek to problematize Western discourses which, influenced by Enlightenment ideals, adhere to linear notions of progress. Such discourses can be argued to sustain an imperative to create positive meaning from traumatic life experience, to gain beneficial insight from suffering, and ultimately to triumph over adversity. In articulating a messier and more ambiguous story, the difficulties of living through and voicing experience, which fails to conform to such a framework, is highlighted.

Sweet dreams: Biographical blanks and the commemoration of children

“…Internet memorials assume a more (self)conversational and (self)-therapeutic character, publically articulating some of the strong emotions that are taboo in everyday social life (Hazen, 2006;Layne, 1990;Leith, 2009). At the cemetery, on the other hand, many aspects of memory and loss are not stated explicitly due to social expectations to affective modesty and composure.…”

‘Silent’ Miscarriage and Deafening Heteronormativity: A British Experiential and Critical Feminist Account

“…With reference to social science and 'self-help' literature, including our own experiences, this chapter explores the non-normative experience and consequences of silent miscarriage. While not an autoethnographic analysis per se (c.f., sheach Leith 2009Leith , ellis 2004, our argument is embedded in experiential perspectives. We focus particularly on how lesbians' experiences of pregnancy loss are marginalised within an overarching context of heteronormative, 'natural' pregnancy (peel 2010).…”