The Role of Compassionate and Self-Image Goals in Predicting Psychological Controlling and Facilitative Parenting Styles

Abstract

People enter into parental roles with a range of different motivations for parenting. To date, however, there is limited research assessing maternal motivations, concerns, and anxieties in their parenting styles. While some mothers are confident and child focused, others have concerns with performing parenting behaviors, and can be self-focused, shame prone, and self-judgmental. Two studies explored these two dimensions in relation to degree of controlling and facilitative parenting styles in the mothers of 3–9-year-old children. In study one, 151 mothers took part in an online survey measuring these two dimensions using the compassionate goals and self-image goals scales ( Crocker and Canevello , 2008 ), in relation to facilitative and controlling parenting styles. As predicted, after controlling for child behavior, parental mental health, and parental self-efficacy, self-focused and shame avoidant concerns were associated with greater psychologically controlling parenting. In contrast a compassionate focused orientation was associated with greater facilitative parenting. In study two, 198 mothers were randomly assigned to either compassion focused goals, self-image goals, or control condition, which was manipulated by varying the instructions provided to participants. Emotional responses (e.g., angry, sad, and shame) to difficult parenting scenarios did not differ depending on whether participants were prompted with compassionate goal, self-image goal, or control condition instructions. The findings from study 1 demonstrate how goal motivation can influence parenting style, with the results from study 2 suggesting that instruction alone is insufficient to shift goal orientation.

Parenting Goals: Links with Parenting Strategies in Caregivers of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

“…Consistent with work by Conti (2015), these findings suggest that parenting goals found in parents of children with ASD overlap with those seen in broader samples of parents (which may, of course, have included small numbers of parents of children with ASD, e.g. Hastings and Grusec 1998;Kirby et al 2019). In the present sample, parents varied in their endorsement of norm adherence goals.…”

“…Findings suggesting a link between parents' goals and their chosen parenting strategies have also been reported recently by Kirby et al (2019). In this study of 151 mothers of children aged 3-9 years old (42% of whom had concerns about their child's social, emotional, or behavioural development), selfimage goals (i.e.…”

“…Conti (2015) compared compassionate and self-image parenting goals and behaviours in 74 mothers of children with ASD aged 5 to 18 years, and 46 mothers of matched neurotypical children. They (like Kirby et al 2019), used an adapted version of Crocker and Canevello's (2008) compassionate and self-image goals questionnaire, which included items such as "In the past month, in your role as a parent, how often did you want to or try to have compassion f o r y o u r c h i l d ( r e n ) ' s m i s t a k e s o r w e a k n e s s e s " (compassionate) or "how often did you want to or try to get your child(ren) to behave in a way that make(s) you proud?" (self-image).…”

Nurturing Family Environments for Children: Compassion-Focused Parenting as a Form of Parenting Intervention

“…To begin, research conducted by Kirby, Grzazek and Gilbert [57] examined whether goal orientation predicted parenting style. In this study, two goal orientations were examined: self-image goals (i.e., concerns with doing things wrong and being rejected) and compassionate goals (i.e., desires to be helpful), and assessed as to whether they predicted psychologically controlling parenting (i.e., controlling child's thoughts and self-expression) or facilitative parenting (i.e., warm and responsive).…”

“…Following on from this, Kirby, Grzazek, and Gilbert [57] completed an experimental study where 198 mothers were randomly assigned to a compassion condition, a self-image condition or a control condition. Mothers would then be presented with stressful child scenarios, for example a temper tantrum at the shops, and told to relate to the themselves with either self-image instructions (i.e., we try to get out children to do things our way because we know what is best for them), or compassionate instructions (i.e., we all face challenges and setbacks and disappointments.…”