The Other Mother

McKelvey, Michele M.

doi:10.1097/ans.0000000000000022

Cited by 15 publications

(84 citation statements)

References 17 publications

(19 reference statements)

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“…Thus, it appeared that there was a tendency for children to form more secure attachments to their biological than their non-biological mother. In an ethnographic study, Pelka (2009) similarly reported feelings of jealousy and being excluded by non-biological mothers in families with children born through donor insemination, Wojnar and Katzenmeyer (2014) found that non-biological mothers felt different from preconception until after the baby was born, and McKelvey (2014) highlighted the role of breastfeeding in creating a difference in the relationship between the biological and non-biological mother and the child.…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Relationships between mothers and children in families formed by shared biological motherhood

et al. 2023

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STUDY QUESTION Does shared biological motherhood, in which a woman gives birth to the genetic child of her female partner, result in more positive mother–child relationships than donor insemination, in which only one mother is biologically related to the child? SUMMARY ANSWER Mothers in both family types showed high levels of bonding with their children and viewed their relationship with their child positively. WHAT IS KNOWN ALREADY There is some evidence of feelings of inequality regarding their relationship with their child between biological and non-biological mothers in lesbian mother families formed by donor insemination, with a qualitative longitudinal study showing a tendency for children to form stronger bonds with their biological than their non-biological mother. STUDY DESIGN, SIZE, DURATION Thirty lesbian mother families created through shared biological motherhood were compared with 30 lesbian mother families formed by donor-IVF. All families had two mothers who both participated in the study, and the children were aged from infancy up to 8 years old. Data collection took place over 20 months beginning in December 2019. PARTICIPANTS/MATERIALS, SETTING, METHODS Each mother in the family was interviewed separately using the Parent Development Interview (PDI), a reliable and valid measure of the nature of the parent’s emotional bond with their child. The interviews were transcribed verbatim and coded separately by one of two trained researchers who were unaware of the child’s family type. The interview produces 13 variables that relate to the parent’s representations of themselves as a parent, 5 variables that relate to the parent’s representations of the child, and a global variable that assesses the extent to which the parent can reflect on the child and their relationship. MAIN RESULTS AND THE ROLE OF CHANCE Families formed through shared biological parenthood did not differ from families created by donor-IVF in terms of the quality of mothers’ relationships with their children as assessed by the PDI. Neither were differences identified between birth mothers and non-birth mothers across the entire sample, or between gestational and genetic mothers within the families formed by shared biological parenthood. Multivariate analyses were conducted to minimize the role of chance. LIMITATIONS, REASONS FOR CAUTION Ideally, larger samples of families and a narrower age range of children would have been studied, but this was not possible as we were reliant on the small number of families formed through shared biological motherhood in the UK when the study began. To maintain the anonymity of the families, it was not possible to request information from the clinic that may have shed light on differences between those who responded to the request to participate and those who did not. WIDER IMPLICATIONS OF THE FINDINGS The findings show that shared biological motherhood is a positive option for lesbian couples who wish to have a more equal biological relationship to their children. One type of biological connection does not appear to have a greater influence on the quality of parent–child relationships than the other. STUDY FUNDING/COMPETING INTEREST(S) This study was funded by the Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC) grant ES/S001611/1. KA is Director, and NM is Medical Director, of the London Women’s Clinic. The remaining authors have no conflicts of interest to declare. TRIAL REGISTRATION NUMBER N/A.

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Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Relationships between mothers and children in families formed by shared biological motherhood

et al. 2023

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“…32,37,38,[40][41][42]47 Experiences were exoticized and tokenized 32 such as participants being told they were "amazing" for childbearing or "should be on Oprah," 42 partnerships were "straightened" such as assuming a partner to be a sister, 25,33,34,46 and co-parents were ignored and not recognized by providers and staff for their parental role. 46,47,50…”

Section: Erasurementioning

confidence: 99%

“…[40][41][42]45,47,50,55 The financial costs of legal fees (eg, donor contracts and second-parent adoptions) were out of reach for many and legal processes, such as second-parent adoption, are not available in all 50 states. 34,50,55 To ensure both partners' parental rights, SGD people contemplated giving birth in states with better parental rights 55 or using a sperm bank that legally terminated the donor's rights. 47 Accessing parental rights was described as a humiliating experience, 50 and the ability to protect, and even form, one's family was controlled by the ability to navigate these systems.…”

Section: Structural Exclusionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…34,50,55 To ensure both partners' parental rights, SGD people contemplated giving birth in states with better parental rights 55 or using a sperm bank that legally terminated the donor's rights. 47 Accessing parental rights was described as a humiliating experience, 50 and the ability to protect, and even form, one's family was controlled by the ability to navigate these systems. 48 Lastly, lack of knowledge and cultural competency among providers threatened receipt of quality care and forced individuals to be responsible for educating their providers.…”

Section: Structural Exclusionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…32,34,35,38,55 Unfortunately, positive relationships and experiences with providers did not attenuate the effects of other harmful health care encounters. 25,33,42,50,55 Discrimination extended to other aspects of SGD peoples' lives, too. They anticipated that other parents would reject them in social groups or the workplace, 33,52 assumed they would be denied resources such as donor milk, 40 and experienced prejudice when enrolling their child in daycare.…”

Section: Discriminationmentioning

confidence: 99%

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Childbearing at the margins: A systematic metasynthesis of sexual and gender diverse childbearing experiences

Soled

Niles

Mantell

et al. 2022

Birth

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Background:The reproductive and perinatal health of sexual and genderdiverse (SGD) individuals is a research priority area for the National Institutes of Health. Over the past decade, this childbearing population has been the focus of several qualitative studies providing the opportunity to evaluate and synthesize the qualitative literature on SGD childbearing experiences in a metasynthesis. Methods:We conducted a literature search of four databases to identify original research published from January 2011 through June 2021. These results were augmented by forward and backward searching strategies. Two authors independently screened studies. All qualitative studies of the childbearing experience were eligible. Data were extracted and inductively coded using conventional content analysis, and studies underwent a quality appraisal by two authors. Results: From 2396 articles, 127 full-text articles were screened, and 25 were included in this synthesis. Three overarching themes were identified: (a) Systematic Invisibility; (b) Creating Personhood Through Parenthood; and (c) Resilient Narratives of Childbearing.Conclusions: Relative to heterosexual and cisgender parents, SGD childbearing parents experience unique structural and interpersonal challenges and employ critically important resilience strategies and coping techniques to manage an overwhelming heterocisnormative experience. These findings provide an important target for health care organizations and professionals to improve SGD perinatal health. In addition, this metasynthesis identified persistent gaps in our understanding of this marginalized childbearing population, which have important implications for reducing health disparities that SGD parents experience.

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Underrepresented Transitions to Parenthood

Mickelson

Marcussen

2023

Gender and the Transition to Parenthood

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The Other Mother

Cited by 15 publications

References 17 publications

Relationships between mothers and children in families formed by shared biological motherhood

Relationships between mothers and children in families formed by shared biological motherhood

Childbearing at the margins: A systematic metasynthesis of sexual and gender diverse childbearing experiences

Underrepresented Transitions to Parenthood

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