This paper arose from a PhD thesis entitled "What do patients want? Psychoanalytic perspectives from the couch". As outcome studies in psychoanalysis have usually only acknowledged the analyst's voice, this empirical research provided an opportunity for patients to be heard. The aim was to discover what they themselves perceived as helpful, or unhelpful, in the analytic process. One of the central themes that emerged was a powerful connection between the analytic and real life experiences of father, at many levels, which needed to be explored within the transference relationship with the analyst. From this material two broad areas surfaced: the "emotionally present" and "emotionally absent" analyst. Specifi c case material from patients' narratives is used to demonstrate the very powerful nature of the transference/counter-transference relationship, the signifi cance of early relating patterns which need to be understood and skillfully addressed, and the diffi culties encountered when repetition occurs and the analytic task of working through does not take place. "Father hunger" is prominent. An exploration of central issues which have contributed to such a variation in these experiences draws attention to the signifi cance of the analysts' personal characteristics as a major impact on analytic outcomes.