The grief ritual of extracting and donating human milk after perinatal loss

Milk Donation Following a Perinatal Loss: A Phenomenological Study

“…18,19 These memories are related to continuing a bond with the deceased fetus or newborn, which milk expression and donation provides. 17 Consistent with Bowlby's attachment theory, women become attached to their infants by feeding them. 23 The creation of memories through milk expression helps women to validate their identity as mothers and move forward after loss.…”

“…43 Similar as in our results, milk donation offers women the opportunity to make sense of their loss by saving others' lives. 17,18 The thought that other infants survive in honor of their own fetus or newborn is an enormous satisfaction and a comforting experience for women. 18 Nevertheless, apart from this altruistic act, milk donation is perceived by bereaved woman as a way to promote their own health.…”

“…17 In addition to the altruistic act of helping other ill infants, expressing and donating breastmilk may help women cope with loss. [17][18][19] Some studies ✦ Perinatal loss results in a negative impact on women's well-being and mental health.…”

Why Is Human Milk Donation Absent From the Literature on Philanthropic Giving? The Invisible Female Donor and Her Invisible Gift

“…There is "fluidity" in the milk donor's identity: in some cases, milk donation is portrayed by milk banks as a gift from the "baby donor," who is generous to share his milk, and the mother who produced and pumped the milk from her own body, gave her baby's milk to other babies (Oreg & Appe, 2020). Such representation portrays the baby as the donor, thus make the female donor symbolically invisible (Oreg, 2019(Oreg, , 2020Oreg & Appe, 2020). Another scenario that is portrayed by HM banks is that the donation was made by both baby and mother, as a unique mother-baby donor dyad (mother and baby are donating their milk) which yet again, omits the role of the mother as the donor.…”

“…Moreover, there is a subset of milk donors who are bereaved mothers who choose to donate their milk in memory of their babies who died in stillbirth or prenatal loss. For them, milk donor invisibility corresponds with the larger "silencing" of their grief and experience, due to the taboo and the discourse around infant loss, particularly in Western societies (see Hazen, 2006;Oreg, 2019Oreg, , 2020.…”