The Emergence of Forgiveness in Young Children

Abstract

Humans depend greatly on our cooperative relationships. Thus, when our relationships are damaged by transgressions, they need to be repaired. Such repair requires that the transgressor show remorse and the victim forgive. Previous research demonstrates that as transgressors, young children show remorse and attempt to repair the harm they caused. However, it remains unclear when children, as victims, forgive remorseful transgressors. In Study 1, 5-, but not 4-year-olds, (n = 20 each) were more forgiving of a remorseful transgressor (who did not explicitly apologize) than an unremorseful transgressor. In Study 2, 4-year-olds (n = 20) were more forgiving of an apologetic than unapologetic transgressor. Thus, from early in ontogeny, humans are motivated to repair damaged relationships and thus uphold cooperation.

To err is human: Forgiveness across childhood and adolescence

“…By contrast, recent evidence suggests that forgiveness in childhood may already function as a meaningful mechanism for repairing or maintaining relationships (Oostenbroek & Vaish, ; Van der Wal, Karremans, & Cillessen, ). Research also shows that children's self‐reported likelihood of forgiving is a function of interpersonal and psychological features of the situation, such as the offender's apology and intention.…”

“…However, with few exceptions (e.g., Oostenbroek & Vaish, ), extant research was conducted using hypothetical stimuli. Notably, however, judgments about hypothetical events are made from a detached stance whereas actual forgiveness is granted by someone feeling hurt or angry.…”

“…This approach can capture children's explicit understanding, providing a useful complement to the implicit understanding tapped by narratives. Though Enright et al () intimated that children's conceptions of forgiveness are organized around moral concepts such as revenge, restitution, or social harmony, the above literature suggests that children's conceptions might be linked to interpersonal and psychological elements of their forgiveness experiences, with younger children focusing on the interpersonal realm (Oostenbroek & Vaish, ; Smith et al, ) and older ones referring to psychological processes, invoking changes in emotion and intention and, for teens especially, links to broader insights (Habermas & de Silveira, ; Pasupathi & Wainryb, ).…”

“…Our study examined narratives about forgiveness and non‐forgiveness elicited from three age groups (7, 11, 16), as well as their evaluations of having forgiven and not forgiven, and their definitions of what it means to forgive. The choice of age groups was guided by findings (Enright et al, , ) suggesting children move from pre‐forgiveness to forgiveness between the ages of 9–10 and 15–16, and more recent findings (e.g., Banerjee et al, ; Oostenbroek & Vaish, ; Smith et al, ) suggesting that some forgiveness‐related capacities are available earlier in development.…”

Flourishing in children with autism spectrum disorders

“…Forgiveness is defined as overcoming negative feelings associated with the perception of being hurt by another individual [Lippman et al, ]. Forgiveness of transgressors has been shown to develop in 4‐ and 5‐year‐old children [Oostenbroek & Vaish, ]. Forgiveness is associated with global mental health, life satisfaction, positive affect, and self‐esteem [Van Dyke & Elias, ].…”