The Comfort of Identity

Abstract

This article is based on empirical research using video diaries to explore the performance of sexual identities in work, domestic and social spaces. The diaries allow respondents to show the clothes they wear on different occasions, and to talk about the process of performance. The article focuses on the ways in which identity as a concept functions within 'academic', 'political' and 'subcultural' discourses of sexuality, and draws on diarists' discussions of comfort and discomfort in performing their (differently inflected) identities in these spaces, linking this to theories of performativity and reflexivity.In this article I examine material from video diaries which were undertaken by a number of people in 'queer communities'. I am interested in the ways in which identities are performed in different times and spaces -which I call work, rest and play -and also how these performances become mediated by academic, political and 'subcultural' discourses of sexuality. I do not propose these definitions as immutable, rather as organizing concepts with which to frame the empirical material. I aim to explore the similarities and differences in respondents' accounts, and want to chart their experiences of identity. In so doing I hope to illustrate some key aspects of theoretical debates around identity whilst also considering how far people's experiences of their own identities mirror the fractured selves currently described by academics (for example Hall, 1996) or the theoretical insights of notions of performativity in relation to identity (Butler, 1990): are identities outside the academy experienced as more or less fixed or more complex than these writings suggest? I would also like to examine how far academic discourses filter into and inform political discourses and what their relevance might be to 'subcultural' constructions of the self. In my analysis, then, there are three levels to theorize: the academic, and by this I really mean queer theory in this context; the political, usually conceived Article Sexualities

“Not Hiding, Not Shouting, Just Me”: Gay Men Negotiate Their Visual Identities

“…These changes reflected the freedom the men experienced to be (and to express) themselves: For a few of the participants, coming out as gay or bisexual gave them the freedom to resist heteronormative constructions of masculinity and to change their gender presentations (Hutson, 2010), adorning their bodies in ways that marked them as gay. Furthermore, as the quotations from Stuart and James indicate, many spoke of feeling more comfortable in their clothes; however, this was not a physical feeling of comfort but rather a psychological one, resulting from closing the gap between their inner and outer selves (Holliday, 1999).…”

“…Thus, 'dressing gay' afforded both a feeling of belonging and a way of managing the appearance pressures on the gay scene (Hutson, 2010;Kates, 2002;Schofield & Schmidt, 2002). Moreover, dressing gay allowed the men to secure the right kind of 'second look' from other men when out on the scene -a cruising gaze that conveyed sexual interest (and confirmed that they 'fit'), rather than a policing or disciplining gaze, that signalled a failure to 'fit' (Clarke & Turner, 2007;Holliday, 1999 Sean's response signals the importance for some of the men of looking like the men they desire (Holliday, 2001). These men discussed evaluating other men's appearance and seeking to emulate the clothing choices of the men they found most desirable, in order to be desirable to those men (Holliday, 2001 Thus, the participants learnt what was stylish and attractive by looking at other men (Clarke & Turner, 2007;Kates, 2002).…”

“…These are all small-scale studies - Clarke and Turner's (2007) sample includes 4 gay men, Huston's (2010) 9, and Holliday (1999; does not specify the number of gay male participants in her study, only that people in 'queer communities', including gay men, made 15 video-diaries. Both consumer and social science research has identified an 'effeminate' image as the visible marker of gay male sexuality in straight society.…”

“…Both the camp and the trendy gay man were implicitly and explicitly contrasted with the 'ruggedly' masculine straight man. The 'manly' man had an altogether more 'sober' (Martin, 32, gay), or scruffy (Kates, 2002), appearance, and wore baggy clothes and the dark colours associated with hetero-masculinity (Holliday, 1999). According to the participants, for the 'rugged' straight man, the practical and functional aspects of clothes are key, rather than their aesthetic qualities.…”

“…(Tom,18,gay) There is a lot of fashion attitudes on the gay club scene and if you don't look a certain way then you won't 'fit in' to that crowd. (Josh,19,gay) One of the ways the emphasis on appearance on the gay scene was evident was, as Josh noted, through the policing of appearance norms (Clarke & Turner, 2007;Holliday, 1999;Hutson, 2010;Kates, 2002). Some participants discussed the importance of 'fitting in' with appearance mandates and, as noted above, actively managing their appearance to look gayer (a Greebo is a person who listens to rock music and does not follow fashion trends):…”