The “birds and the bees” differ for boys and girls: Sex differences in the nature of sex talks.

Abstract

The daughter-guarding hypothesis posits that "parents possess adaptations with design features that function to defend their daughter's sexual reputation, preserve her mate value, and protect her from sexual victimization" (Perilloux, Fleischman, & Buss, 2008, p. 219). One way that parents may attempt to guard their daughters' sexualities is by conveying to them certain messages about sex. To explore this possibility we administered an online questionnaire that tested 8 sex-linked predictions derived from the daughter-guarding hypothesis about the content of parent-child communications about sex. Participants were undergraduates from a Northeastern U.S. Jesuit Catholic university (n ϭ 226) and young adults recruited through Facebook (n ϭ 391). As predicted, daughters were more likely than sons to recall receiving messages from their parents that (a) emphasized being discriminating in allocating sexual access; (b) emphasized abstinence; (c) encouraged them to deter, inhibit, and defend against their partners' sexual advances; (d) encouraged them to not emulate depictions of sexual activity; (e) stipulated when they were old enough to date; and (f) curtailed contact with the opposite sex. Results supported several hypothesized design features of the daughter-guarding hypothesis. Parents may be socializing children in ways that fostered ancestral reproductive success through sex-linked birds-and-the-bees talks and messages.

A Larger Ecology of Family Sexuality Communication: Extended Family Perspectives on Relationships, Sexual Orientation, and Positive Aspects of Sex

“…Conversations about sex and relationships provide a way for families to share sexual values with teens [6,7]. Sexual socialization theory explains a process through which individuals gain understanding about ideas, beliefs and values related to sex [8].…”

Parents’ Perspectives on Family Sexuality Communication from Middle School to High School

“…Parents were more likely to describe reasons for not talking with their daughters than sons about sex and relationships, often referring to their daughters’ lack of readiness to discuss sexual issues and perceptions of them as “little girls”. This may reflect parents’ reluctance to see their teen daughters as sexual beings, which has been suggested in prior work on parents’ attitudes toward teen girls’ sexuality [ 20 ]. This may also be reflected in parents’ lower frequency of reported talk with their daughters than sons at Time 1 about delaying sex.…”

“…Parents’ and teens’ backgrounds also shape the content and style of sexuality communication, as well as its impact [ 20 , 21 , 22 , 23 , 24 , 25 ]. Much research investigates the role of teen and parent gender in family sexuality communication.…”

“…The gender of both teens and parents can shape the frequency, content and impact of conversations. For example, parents are more likely to share messages with female than male teens that focus on abstinence and resisting a partner’s advances [ 20 ]. Other research shows that teen girls are more likely than boys to talk with family members about sex [ 21 ].…”

Parental Investment and Mate Value

“…Thirdly, highly investing parents might also be more likely to communicate certain values and expectations, that, in turn, affect behavior and thereby increase MV. One example of this could be parents who communicate expectations regarding chastity for women (Kuhle et al, 2015). Fourthly, the association could be explained by other family-related variables, such as the number of biological siblings, which naturally affects the amount of investment that can be directed to each child (Smith, 2017).…”