In the pragmatics literature the relationship between mitigation and pragmatic empathy remains largely an underexplored, or even worse, a controversial issue, giving rise to the formulation of divergent views of empathy in mitigation. While I treat empathy as a working mechanism providing a general explanation of how mitigation works, Caffi (1999; 2007; 2013) adopts a "paradox" view on it. The purpose of this paper is to track down the sources of divergence by comparing and contrasting our conceptualizations of mitigation. It is found that the biggest difference lies in the treatment of intersubjectivity. However, although I argue in favor of my empathic view, I see it as complementary, rather than contradictory, to Caffi's view. The relationship between mitigation and politeness is revisited with its implications for teaching pragmatics briefly discussed.