Acyl anion equivalents (umpolung) are the practitioner's first choice en route to 1,3‐hydroxy keto compounds from epoxides. Why? This investigation evaluates computationally and experimentally the reactivity of a near comprehensive range of acyl anion equivalents using epoxide ring opening as a test vehicle. Reactivity understanding, reactivity order, surprise failures in performance, along with unprecedented, but far from superior, reactivity of TosMIC is presented for the first time.