Motivated by the apparent dependence of string σ-models on the sum of spacetime metric and antisymmetric tensor fields, we reconsider gravity theories constructed from a nonsymmetric metric. We first show that all such "geometrical" theories homogeneous in second derivatives violate standard physical requirements: ghost-freedom, absence of algebraic inconsistencies or continuity of degree-of-freedom content. This no-go result applies in particular to the old unified theory of Einstein and its recent avatars. However, we find that the addition of nonderivative, "cosmological" terms formally restores consistency by giving a mass to the antisymmetric tensor field, thereby transmuting it into a fifth-force-like massive vector but with novel possible matter couplings. The resulting macroscopic models also exhibit "van der Waals"-type gravitational effects, and may provide useful phenomenological foils to general relativity.