“Some days it’s like she has died.” A qualitative exploration of first mothers’ utilisation of artefacts associated with now-adopted children in coping with grief and loss

Abstract

In this article, I take a critical approach to the marginalisation of the grief experienced by first mothers who have experienced the non-consensual adoption of a child in England, in a context within which welfare benefits and services intended to support the most disadvantaged families have been dramatically curtailed. With reference to the concepts of disenfranchised grief and ambiguous loss, and in light of some identified parallels between the death of a child and the loss of a child to adoption, I draw upon literature from the field of bereavement studies in presenting findings arising from semi-structured interviews in which 17 first mothers sorted through artefacts such as toys, clothing and blankets associated with their now-adopted children and reflected upon the meanings that such keepsakes had taken on in their lives after loss. Respondents’ accounts revealed that artefacts were invested with high value, and could operate as vehicles for memories of time spent caring for children. It was found that interacting with artefacts could bring comfort, evoking in mothers sensory memories of the smell and feel of their now-adopted child. Interactions with artefacts were found to hold capacity to affirm respondents’ maternal status, as well as symbolising oppression and injustice, sometimes evoking strong feelings of anger directed towards professionals involved in children’s adoption.

Perspektiver på omsorgsovertakelser: En kvalitativ studie av foreldre og barnevernsarbeideres erfaringer med omsorgsovertakelsesprosesser med tilknyttede problemområder

“…Å avveie retten til familieliv mot barnets rett til beskyttelse er krevende (NIM, 2020, s. 3). Forskning viser at omsorgsovertakelser kan ha alvorlige konsekvenser for foreldre (Baum & Negbi, 2013;Ellingsen, 2007;Falch Eriksen, 2016;Geddes, 2021;Nixon et al, 2013). Samtidig kan omsorgssvikt ha omfattende og skadelige ringvirkninger for barns utvikling (Falch-Eriksen & Skivenes, 2019;Lehmann & Kayed, 2018).…”

“…Fylkesnemndene har siden redusert denne saksbehandlingstiden (Fylkesnemndene, 2020). (Baum & Negbi, 2013;Geddes, 2021;McKegney, 2003;Nixon et al, 2013). Disse funnene samsvarer også med nordiske studier på foreldres erfaringer med omsorgsovertakelser (Egelund & Hestbaek, 2003;Höjer, 2007;Falch -Eriksen, 2016;Shanks & Spånberg Weitz, 2020;Slettebø, 2009;Zorning Andersen & Gjesing, 2016).…”

“…Siden begrunnelsene for omsorgsovertakelser ofte knyttes til individuelle årsaker hos foreldrene (Statens Helsetilsyn, 2019;NIM, 2020) og kan begrunnes gjennom negative karakteristikker (Burns et al, 2018;Masson, 2012) har forskere problematisert at omsorgsovertakelser kan medføre stigmatisering og skamfølelse hos foreldre (Broadhurst & Mason, 2017;Geddes, 2021;Höjer, 2011;Morriss, 2018;Schofield et al, 2011;Shanks & Spånberg Weitz, 2020). Studier har videre vist at foreldre kan oppleve fordømmelse eller manglende sosial støtte fra samfunnet i forbindelse med omsorgsovertakelser og at omsorgsovertakelsen kan utfordre deres identitet og foreldreskap (De Wilde & Vanobbergen, 2020;McKegney, 2003;Moriss, 2018;Nixon et al, 2013;Salem & De Wilde, 2021;Schofield et al, 2011).…”

Breastfeeding, social work and the rights of infants who have been removed

“…The impact of what Morriss has described as 'haunted motherhood' (2018) has been shown to be long-lasting (Broadhurst and Mason, 2020). The experience of birth mothers has been conceptualised as a form of 'disenfranchised grief' (Doka, 1999) in the literature (Geddes, 2021;Nolte et al, 2019). Women who lose care of their children to the state live with a very deep-seated pain, and some experience this as unbearable.…”

Giving HOPE and minimising trauma: An intervention to support women who are separated from their babies at birth due to safeguarding concerns

“…Whatever the underlying reasons, the separation of an infant from his or her birth mother in the first year of life can be a source of enduring grief and have long‐term repercussions for all parties involved: the parents, the child and in many cases the professionals tasked with overseeing the removal (Geddes, 2021; Mason et al, 2022a; Neil, 2013). There is, however, increasing evidence that, in both low‐, medium‐ and high‐income countries, high numbers of infants are, for complex of social and economic reasons, relinquished, voluntarily placed away from home or compulsorily removed from their families in response to child protection concerns (Wulczyn et al, in press), and that this is an issue of considerable concern in the United States (Wulczyn et al, 2013), the United Kingdom (Mason et al, 2022a), Scandinavia (Hestbæk et al, 2020), Australia (O'Donnell et al, 2019) and parts of Africa (Rosenberg, 2020).…”