Social and Emotional Loneliness Among Divorced and Married Men and Women: Comparing the Deficit and Cognitive Perspectives

Abstract

Data from the 1998 survey "Divorce in the Netherlands" (N = 2,223) are used to analyze differences in loneliness among divorced and married men and women. The results indicate that it makes sense to distinguish social from emotional loneliness. This is consistent with the deficit perspective, which posits that the absence of specific types of relationships is associated with specific forms of loneliness. Whereas social loneliness is largely attributable to support network deficits, emotional loneliness is associated with the absence of a partner. In line with the cognitive perspective, the results show that greater insight into loneliness is obtained when discrepancies in relationships are considered. Divorcees who attach great importance to having a partner and people whose marriages are conflict ridden tend to have the highest levels of emotional loneliness. Our study shows that to explain loneliness, one should take not only characteristics of people's relationships into consideration, but also their relationship preferences. The investment hypothesis, which also follows from the cognitive perspective, is not supported by the data. There is no indication that those who attach greater importance to having a partner invest less in relationships with friends, relatives, and colleagues and therefore show high levels of social loneliness. Consistent gender differences are observed: Men, regardless of partner status, tend to attach greater importance to having a partner than do women, and they tend to have smaller support networks and higher levels of social loneliness. Among the divorced, men are more apt to suffer from emotional loneliness than are women.

Loneliness in old age in Eastern and Western European societies: theoretical perspectives

“…Discrepancy between expectations regarding relationships and the status of a relationship predicts loneliness in divorced and married adults. Divorcees who attach great importance to having a partner and people whose marriages are conflict-ridden tend to have high levels of emotional loneliness (Dykstra and Fokkema 2007). With respect to ageing processes, the socio-emotional selectivity theory would assume expectations regarding intimate relations not to change.…”

The relationship between wealth and loneliness among older people across Europe: Is social participation protective?

“…networks as compared with women (Dykstra and Fokkema, 2007), and women may benefit more from interactions with family. Participation in sports clubs has been shown to enable men to exchange life experiences with others who share similar interests and characteristics (Bunn et al, 2016), which could plausibly reduce feelings of loneliness and be related to fewer depressive symptoms, via the benefits of physical activity.…”

“…example, divorced men report higher levels of loneliness compared to women, which may be due to the greater sense of support they generally derive from a partner and smaller support networks (Dykstra and Fokkema, 2007). In addition, several studies demonstrate that participation in formal activities, such as volunteering and attending social clubs, is associated with reduced loneliness in later life (Croezen et al, 2015;Gilmour, 2012;Heaven et al, 2013).…”

Physical activity intervention in older adults: does a participating partner make a difference?

“…For example, social integration as reflected by marital status was found to be associated with the amount of physical activity (Garcia and King 1991;Irwin et al 2004;van Gool et al 2006), probably because spouses seem to be the primary source of support for many older adults (Dykstra and Fokkema 2007;Gallo et al 2003). One mechanism of benefiting from the presence of an intimate partner could be the partner's provision of exercise-specific support (Martire and Schulz 2007;Martire 2005).…”