Sibling Support Systems in Childhood after a Parent Dies

Abstract

The research question addressed was: To what extent did the interactions of childhood sibling subsystems after a parent died facilitate healthy grieving in families where the surviving parent was emotionally unavailable to the children? Utilizing Q methodology, the researcher studied two quartets of adult sisters who, when 3–10 years old, had experienced the deaths of their fathers and the emotional absence of their mothers. Results included a variety of sibling interactions that demonstrated the potential for siblings to contribute to each other's healthy grieving, although the stable presence of a supportive adult was important. Implications for helping professionals included encouragement to actively nurture sibling subsystems by teaching and coaching children how to facilitate each other's grief work in age appropriate ways, and to avoid focusing too closely on the pain of the emotionally unavailable surviving parent to the neglect of children's individual needs and care-giving capacities.

Reflections of Young Adults on the Loss of a Parent in Adolescence

“…Previous research on sibling relationships following the death of a parent was contradictory, with some concluding that it created distance between the siblings (Connidis, 1992;Scharlach & Friedriksen, 1993), while others found that it strengthened sibling bonds (Hurd, 2002;Mack, 2004). The findings in the present study were consistent with the research demonstrating the benefit of having a sibling to share the experience of parental loss.…”

“…Research on sibling relationships in parentally bereaved families has been contradictory, with some studies showing the benefit of having a sibling to share the tragic experience with (Hurd, 2002;Mack, 2004), and others showing the burden of having a sibling after the death of a parent (Connidis, 1992;Scharlach & Fredriksen, 1993). When the death of a parent occurs in childhood, the effect on siblings can be complicated, as some sibling relationships will experience positive outcomes while others will experience negative ones (Ross & Milgram, 1982).…”

“…When the death of a parent occurs in childhood, the effect on siblings can be complicated, as some sibling relationships will experience positive outcomes while others will experience negative ones (Ross & Milgram, 1982). Hurd (2002) found that siblings can assist each other in grieving in a healthy way and avoiding depression; thus they become a very strong source of support, especially when the surviving parent is too preoccupied with his or her own grief. Parental death may result in siblings becoming closer and strengthening their sibling bonds (Hurd, 2002;Mack, 2004); however, the death may also create distance between the siblings, especially if the deceased parent occupied the role of kinkeeper in the family (Scharlach & Fredriksen, 1993).…”

Sibling separation and psychological problems of double AIDS orphans in rural China – a comparison analysis

“…anxiety, anger, depression) among AIDS orphans. After parental loss, siblings (if available) become an import source in providing closeness/emotional support, care‐giving and help (Hurd 2002; Milevsky 2005). Thus, separation of children from their siblings following the death of their parents may further increase the psychological hurdles confronting them.…”