Shameful self‐consciousness

Abstract

Shame can be occasioned in startlingly different ways. Here are two classic depictions-one in words, one in paintthat stand in contrast with each other. They also correspond, in a helpful way, to twin strands of philosophical theorizing about shame: as recognition of wrong done, and as innocent social exposure. Consider, first, the case of Tolstoy's Rostov. Rostov, not a bad man, but naïve, foolish and vain, has lost a good deal of money gambling. He goes to his kindly father, who is suffering significant money troubles himself, and asks "in the most casual tone, which made him feel ashamed of himself … as if merely asking his father to let him have the carriage to drive to town" to ask his father to clear his debt for him. "Dear me!" said his father, who was in especially good humour. "I told you it would not be enough. How much?" "Very much," said Nicholas flushing, and with a stupid careless smile, for which he was long unable to forgive himself, "I have lost a little, I mean a good deal, a great dealforty three thousand." Rostov's father "reddens with an apoplectic flush" and falls on to the sofa. This, for a moment, occasions a desperate attempt at bravado from his son: "It can't be helped. It happens to everyone!" said the son, with a bold, free, and easy tone, while in his soul he regarded himself as a worthless scoundrel whose whole life could not atone for his crime. He longed to kiss his father's hands and kneel to beg his forgiveness, but said, in a careless and even rude voice, that it happens to everyone! 1 The old count immediately relents, and starts to leave the room to try his best to raise funds. The bold easy tone cracks, and Rostov grabs his father's hand, sobbing. Even if we do not think him a "worthless scoundrel", Rostov has This essay is dedicated to Benjamin Sacks, and to Maya Sacks, without whom their mother would not have had the gumption to even think about honouring their father in this way.

The harm of humiliation

“…As Margalit (1996, p. 85) puts it, inflicting humiliation is a way of inflicting suffering . O'Brien (2020, p. 550) likewise remarks that “it hurts” to be conscious of having “a lowered social value.” These observations are consonant with the claim, made by a variety of philosophers and psychologists, that our negative emotional reactions constitute a special class of pains 7 . For example, Eisenberger and Lieberman (2004) define a class of pains they call “social pains” which consist in “the distressing experience arising from the perception of actual or potential psychological distance from close others or a social group.” Emotional experiences which are said to involve social pain include the feelings of grief, rejection and humiliation.…”

Determination of Attitude Towards Oneself by Personal and Situational Factors

“…When we describe someone as shy, we mean that they experience self-awareness in a certain way, through experience. Thus, any manifestation of typical identity awareness is a manifestation of "self-awareness" in the philosophical sense (O'Brien, 2020).…”

“…It is worth noting an important distinction: a person can unconsciously perceive and process environmental signals (e.g., color, food) without realizing it (consciousness). Awareness occurs during reflection on the experience of perception and processing of stimuli (O'Brien, 2020). Psychoanalysts and psychologists feel the need for a philosophical understanding of a person, because one's knowledge, as a special form of a functioning and developing special structure, is the same psychological problem on its own scale, which goes beyond the competence of psychological science.…”

Making Sense of Shame

“…This undermines a complaint made in different ways by Calhoun (2004, pp. 136–37) and O'Brien (2020, pp. 550–53), which some might be tempted to make against the account outlined here.…”