We present a method for furnishing flat Friedman-Robertson-Walker spacetimes with nearly arbitrary dynamics in an important subclass of cubic Horndeski theory -specifically shiftsymmetric, cubic Horndeski theory with a vanishing conserved current. This builds on insight from previous work on the construction of static and spherically-symmetric hairy spacetimes in the same sector. The method is explicitly demonstrated by deriving exact analytical solutions describing an inflating universe and several power-law expansion scenarios, and by showing how the predicted evolution of the Hubble parameter in ΛCDM can be fit to a particular choice of Horndeski model function. We fully characterize the classes of cosmological models that cannot be generated purely by selecting a Horndeski model function.1 While writing this manuscript, Ref.[88] appeared in the arXiv showing similar results. Specifically, it shows how GR's cosmological solutions associated with matter, radiation, and vacuum-dominated eras can be assigned to scalar-tensor Gauss-Bonnet gravity theories. Our work complements this by covering a different, and arguably more phenomenologically interesting, sector of Horndeski theory.