We derive a relationship for the vortex aspect ratio α (vertical half-thickness over horizontal length scale) for steady and slowly evolving vortices in rotating stratified fluids, as a function of the Brunt-Väisälä frequencies within the vortex N c and in the background fluid outside the vortexN, the Coriolis parameter f and the Rossby number Ro of the vortex: α 2 = Ro(1 + Ro)f 2 /(N 2 c −N 2 ). This relation is valid for cyclones and anticyclones in either the cyclostrophic or geostrophic regimes; it works with vortices in Boussinesq fluids or ideal gases, and the background density gradient need not be uniform. Our relation for α has many consequences for equilibrium vortices in rotating stratified flows. For example, cyclones must have N 2 c >N 2 ; weak anticyclones (with |Ro| < 1) must have N 2 c N 2 . We verify our relation for α with numerical simulations of the threedimensional Boussinesq equations for a wide variety of vortices, including: vortices that are initially in (dissipationless) equilibrium and then evolve due to an imposed weak viscous dissipation or density radiation; anticyclones created by the geostrophic adjustment of a patch of locally mixed density; cyclones created by fluid suction from a small localized region; vortices created from the remnants of the violent breakups of columnar vortices; and weakly non-axisymmetric vortices. The values of the aspect ratios of our numerically computed vortices validate our relationship for α, and generally they differ significantly from the values obtained from the much-cited conjecture that α = f /N in quasi-geostrophic vortices.