Relationship-Specific Attachment Insecurity Predicts Preferences for Attachment-Matched Support

Abstract

Past research suggests that attachment insecurity is associated with negative responses to support receipt. However, we propose that social support is evaluated more favorably when it is tailored to a support recipient’s relationship-specific (RS) attachment toward their support provider. In three pre-registered studies, we tested whether people have a relative preference for support strategies that match their RS attachment needs. Consistent with hypotheses, we found that greater RS attachment anxiety was associated with a stronger relative preference for emotion-laden support that affirms one’s relationship (safe strategies) over pragmatic support that de-emphasizes the emotional significance of stressors (soft strategies). Also consistent with hypotheses, greater RS attachment avoidance was associated with a stronger preference for soft strategies over safe strategies, especially when RS attachment anxiety was low. We conclude that people prefer social support matched to their RS attachment orientations and provide recommendations for future research.

Social Support is a Balancing Act: Mitigating Attachment Anxiety by Supporting Independence and Dependence

“…For avoidantly attached individuals, partner buffering means receiving support for their heightened independence needs via "soft strategies": behaviors that defuse intense emotional interactions, allow self-reliance, and respect autonomy. Empirical evidence indeed shows that insecurely attached individuals prefer and benefit from these targeted partner buffering strategies during insecurity-triggering situations (Farrell et al, 2016;Fuentes et al, 2022;Kim et al, 2018;Lemay & Dudley, 2011;Overall et al, 2014;Simpson & Overall, 2014;Tran & Simpson, 2009).…”