Relationship dynamics around depression in gay and lesbian couples

Abstract

Research on intimate relationship dynamics around depression has primarily focused on heterosexual couples. This body of work shows that wives are more likely than husbands to offer support to a depressed spouse. Moreover, when wives are depressed, they are more likely than husbands to try and shield their spouse from the stress of their own depression. Yet, previous research has not examined depression and relationship dynamics in gay and lesbian couples. We analyze in-depth interviews with 26 gay and lesbian couples (N = 52 individuals) in which one or both partners reported depression. We find evidence that dominant gender scripts are both upheld and challenged within gay and lesbian couples, providing important insight into how gender operates in relation to depression within same-sex contexts. Our results indicate that most gay and lesbian partners offer support to a depressed partner, yet lesbian couples tend to follow a unique pattern in that they provide support both as the non-depressed and depressed partner. Support around depression is sometimes viewed as improving the relationship, but if the support is intensive or rejected, it is often viewed as contributing to relationship strain. Support is also sometimes withdrawn by the non-depressed partner because of caregiver exhaustion or the perception that the support is unhelpful. This study points to the importance of considering depression within gay and lesbian relational contexts, revealing new ways support sustains and strains intimate partnerships. We emphasize the usefulness of deploying couple-level approaches to better understand depression in sexual minority populations.

The Gender‐as‐Relational Approach for Theorizing About Romantic Relationships of Sexual and Gender Minority Mid‐ to Later‐Life Adults

“…Overall, these effects appear consistent across couples with two men or two women, suggesting that women and men in same‐sex relationships receive similar benefits from these relationships (Liu, Reczek, & Brown, ). There are reasons to expect that same‐sex couples may experience even more benefits from marriage than different‐sex couples, given our research showing that same‐sex couples are less likely to experience gender inequalities in who provides care, support, or other types of work or resources within the household due to gender similarity and a greater commitment to equality (Reczek & Umberson, ; Thomeer, Reczek, & Umberson, ; Umberson et al, ). However, this finding has not been demonstrated with population‐level data reflecting the absence of nationally representative longitudinal studies of same‐ and different‐sex couples (Reczek, ).…”

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender families and health

“…For instance, men and women in same‐sex marriages provide more emotional care for their spouse than men and women in different‐sex marriages, and women in same‐sex marriage provide and receive more instrumental care than any other group (Umberson, Thomeer, Kroeger, Reczek, & Donnelly, ). Women in same‐sex relationships also describe themselves as more invested in their care work than men in same‐sex relationships, with likely mental and physical health implications for both caregivers and care receivers (Thomeer, Reczek, & Umberson, ; Umberson, Thomeer, Reczek, & Donnelly, ).…”

Can Spouses Buffer the Impact of Discrimination on Depressive Symptoms? An Examination of Same-sex and Different-sex Marriages

“…Indeed, partners’ efforts to improve each other’s health are more balanced and cooperative in gay and lesbian relationships than heterosexual relationships (Reczek and Umberson 2012). Moreover, recent work reveals that spouses in same-sex unions are more likely to be similar in their desire for and provision of support during stressful times (Thomeer, Reczek, and Umberson 2015; Umberson, Thomeer, Reczek, and Donnelly 2016; Umberson, Thomeer, Kroeger, Reczek, and Donnelly 2017). However, both spouses may both desire less support from their spouse.…”