Juicing vegetables is thought to be an anticancer treatment. Support exists for a rank order of anticancer greens (kale > dandelion > lettuce > spinach) based on degrees of bioavailability of different phytochemicals, also offset by some noxious molecules (i.e., calcium-oxalate). We developed a new in vitro transepithelial anti-neuroblastoma model system. The juices were diluted as predicted once in the small intestine. They were applied to apical Caco-2Bbe1 cells atop dividing SH-SY5Y neuroblastoma cells, and changes in transepithelial electrical resistance (TEER) and cell growth were considered with juice spectroscopies. Studied first in monoculture, kale and dandelion were the most cytostatic juices on SH-SY5Ys, lettuce showed no effect, and high (4.2%) spinach was cytotoxic. In co-culture, high (4.2%) kale was quickest (three days) to inhibit neuroblastoma growth. By five days, dandelion and kale were equally robust. Lettuce showed small anti-proliferative effects at five days and spinach remained cytotoxic. Spinach’s cytotoxicity corresponded with major infrared bands indicative of oxalate. Kale juice uniquely induced reactive oxygen species and S-phase cell cycle arrest in SH-SY5Y. The superiority of kale and dandelion was also apparent on the epithelium, because raising TEER levels is considered healthy. Kale’s unique features corresponded with a major fluorescent peak that co-eluted with kaempferol during high performance liquid chromatography. Because the anticancer rank order was upheld, the model appears validated for screening anticancer juices.