Putting me back together by getting back together: Post-dissolution self-concept confusion predicts rekindling desire among anxiously attached individuals

Abstract

Previous research suggests that romantic relationship dissolution diminishes self-concept clarity, leading to emotional distress. Over time, people overcome breakup. But little is known about how people respond to the reduced self-concept clarity that results from this process. The current research examined predictors and mediators of relationship rekindling (desiring to reestablish a relationship with an ex-partner) as a method of navigating self-concept clarity impairment post-dissolution. In two cross-sectional studies, we found that attachment anxiety predicted relationship rekindling both retrospectively (Study 1) and concurrently (Study 2), and this association was mediated by self-concept clarity. These results indicate that anxiously attached individuals may attempt to resolve the substantial self-concept impairment posed by dissolution by reestablishing the relationship with the ex-partner.

When Love Just Ends: An Investigation of the Relationship Between Dysfunctional Behaviors, Attachment Styles, Gender, and Education Shortly After a Relationship Dissolution

“…Couple relationships are less stable than in the past, with an overall growth in divorces over the last three decades (Fine and Harvey, 2006;Reynolds and Profile, 2020). Research has extensively shown that relationship dissolutions may lead to emotional dysregulation and distress, as well as the adoption of dysfunctional behaviors (e.g., insistent telephone calls and text messages, verbal threats, and sending unwanted objects) toward the former partner which can result in severe, debilitative, and, in some situations, life-threatening consequences (Gasbarrini et al, 2015;Curtis et al, 2017;Lee et al, 2020;Cope and Mattingly, 2021;Senkans et al, 2021). Many studies have focused on the long-term consequences of separations and divorces.…”

“…For example, it has been shown that individuals who are divorced tend to report lower levels of psychological and physical well-being, as well as social isolation and economic difficulties (Ross, 1995 ; Pinquart, 2003 ; Sayer, 2006 ). Less information is known about the reasons, reactions, and consequences in the short term, and the studies on maladaptive reactions shortly after the relationship dissolution are still few (Norona and Olmstead, 2017 ; Lee et al, 2020 ; Cope and Mattingly, 2021 ). Various models describe the process of dissolution of the couple (e.g., Sbarra and Emery, 2005 ; Rollie and Duck, 2006 ), and although it is difficult to indicate a defined period relating to the phase of the dissolution of the couple, previous research converges around a period of 4–6 months (Najib et al, 2004 ; Verhallen et al, 2019 ), ranging from 1 week (Mearns, 1991 ) to 12 months and beyond (Sprecher et al, 1998 ; Cope and Mattingly, 2021 ).…”

“…“Separation distress” and a possible emotional adjustment are not linear processes, but they go through specific stages, e.g., disbelief and anger, dawning, resignation, acceptance, up to the meaning-making, and emotional understanding of loss (Emery, 2011 ). The first two phases are those with the greatest reactive and externalizing vulnerability (Sbarra and Emery, 2005 ; Emery, 2011 ) and tend to cover the first year after the dissolution (Sprecher et al, 1998 ; Najib et al, 2004 ; Norona and Olmstead, 2017 ; Verhallen et al, 2019 ; Lee et al, 2020 ; Cope and Mattingly, 2021 ). The very first phase (i.e., disbelief and anger) represents the focus of this study, which investigates the short-term reactions to relationship dissolutions.…”

Attachment and Romantic Relationship Dissolution: A Case Study of Family Therapy

“…Individuals may experience identity confusion (Slotter, Gardner & Finkel, 2010) and distressing rumination (Saffrey & Ehrenberg, 2007) in response to relationship dissolution. In addition, individuals may be emotionally and psychologically distressed as they try to understand and make sense of themselves without their partner (Cope & Mattingly, 2020). Couple communication styles that can increase risk of relationship dissolution are attack-attack, attack-withdraw and withdraw-withdraw (Christense, 1987;Greenberg & Johnson, 1988).…”

“…These breakups are among the strongest predictors of depressive symptoms and negative consequences such as attempting suicide (Donald, Dower, Correa-Velez, & Jones, 2006). When people break up with others, they may lose their self-concept (Cope & Mattingly, 2020), have repetitive, lethargic days and develop negative viewpoints that discourage them from starting new relationships (Lewandowski, Aron, Bassis, & Kunak, 2006;Slotter, Emery, & Luchies, 2014;Slotter et al, 2010). Confusion in self-concept following a breakup is associated with emotional distress after the dissolution, which, to some extent, shows why breakups are painful (Boelen & van den Houte, 2010).…”