Prior On–Off Relationship Instability and Distress in the Separation and Divorce Transition

Abstract

Divorce is considered distressing for many individuals (Sbarra et al., Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2015, 24, 109); however, individuals in poor‐quality relationships may experience certain benefits of leaving an unstable union (Amato & Hohmann‐Marriott, Journal of Marriage and Family, 2007, 69, 621). On–off relationship cycling, or the breakup and reconciliation of a relationship, is a salient indicator of poor relationship quality and a common form of relationship instability (Dailey et al., Personal Relationships, 2009, 16, 23) that is associated with distress (Monk et al., Family Relations, 2018, 67, 523). In line with divorce–stress–adjustment and relational turbulence theory perspectives, we hypothesized that those whose relationships were characterized by on–off instability would experience less distress during the separation and divorce process. Given gender inequality in marriage (e.g., Dempsey, Journal of Sociology, 2002, 38, 91; Monin & Clark, Sex Roles, 2011, 65, 320), we also hypothesized that this association would be more pronounced for women. Using data from 98 divorced or separating couples, we found that relationship cycling prior to the separation and divorce process was associated with fewer distress symptoms for women. Conversely, a history of relationship cycling was associated with more distress symptoms for men. Our study provides support and extends prior investigations illustrating that, for some, those in unions characterized by more turmoil, may experience relief following a termination.

The effects of discrimination and psychological distress on U.S. Latino/a young adults’ relational uncertainty and relationship instability.

“…Consequently, young adult relationships are often fraught with instability and uncertainty about the future (Arnett, 2006). Although ending a turbulent relationship may provide relief for some (Monk et al, 2022), individuals who experience the end of a committed or satisfied relationship report negative changes to their general beliefs and expectations about romantic relationships (Brunson et al, 2019). Relationship instability indicates that a relationship is at risk for dissolution (Booth et al, 1983) and is associated with broader interpersonal turmoil (Monk et al, 2020).…”

Explicating a comprehensive model of post-dissolution distress

“…Commitment to a romantic relationship may also reflect individuals’ relational goals. For individuals who desire their relationship to be permanent or anticipate marriage, the termination of such relationship may engender greater distress (Field et al, 2009; Rhoades et al, 2011; Sprecher et al, 1998) while previous relational volatility or instability may predict less PDD (Monk et al, 2022). Generally speaking, it makes sense that those experiencing greater rewards and fewer costs while in a relationship lose more resources when dissolution occurs, which is likely more distressing than if the relationship offered few rewards.…”

“…This is likely for ethical reasons as asking participants to contact ex-partners might pose safety concerns. Exceptions tend to stem from researchers identifying divorcing couples through court records (e.g., De Smet et al, 2013; Monk et al, 2022). Influences by the ex-partner, however, are important to consider and might be assessed with studies starting with intact couples and contacting partners separately over time.…”

The intergenerational transmission of relationship instability: A focus on emerging adult on‐off relationships

“…Partners in on‐off relationships tend to report more conflict (Dailey, Pfiester et al, 2009), less validation (Halpern‐Meekin et al, 2013a), less constructive communication (Clifford et al, 2017), and fewer relationship enhancing behaviors (Dailey et al, 2010) than those in stable relationships. On‐off relationships are also at risk for both verbal and physical violence/abuse (Halpern‐Meekin et al, 2013b; Monk et al, 2018) and psychological distress (Monk et al, 2018, 2021).…”